Page 111 of Secrets That Bind Us
“I was just thinking about Homecoming our sophomore year. I hated having to dance with Tiffany while you waited. So it looks like we're rewriting our entire past together, baby.”
“Retracing our footsteps and making them right.”
“And that’s why you’re the author.”
She laughs. “Only because I’ve been continuously inspired by my secret muse.”
I quirk a brow. “Is that right?”
She squints up at me and the playfulness leaves her face. “You still don’t get it, do you, Dean? A hundred different cities, a million different faces, and yet my heart has only ever loved one. I’ve not only seen your heart, but I’ve also seen your soul. It belongs to me like mine belongs to you. I was eighteen when I realized I was cursed to love you in a million different lives, in a million different ways, and this sickness only has one cure– allowing myself to love you with my entire being. You asked if I could hear your soul calling out to me, and I swear to God and everything outside of Adelaide that I did. It felt like a string being tugged at my ribcage every time I thought of you. Which was every day.”
It's everything I’ve ever needed to hear.
“We were always inevitable, Verity. From the second your little hand was in mine, I knew I’d never let go. There were times I felt like I couldn't breathe being away from you. That string in my ribs telling me to find you, to go. To get you. To be there. I went. I even found myself in Paris once, but you had already left the venue. God, that sounds fucking crazy. I know it does. I want you to know that. It felt like every time your heart cracked, mine did too. You say a hundred different cities and a million different faces, but Ver, for me, it was only ever you. You know this, I’ve told you this. I was celibate for so long. Then you got married and I thought,‘Okay. I can let her live her life’- but it felt wrong. Shit, the first time I slept with Lacey I threw up on her back.”
She scrunches her nose at me, shoves her face into my chest, and I feel how her whole body shakes with laughter. “That’s horrible!”
I shrug. “I could blame it on the whiskey, but if I’m honest– it’s like I’m allergic to any woman that isn’t you. You are the only woman I've ever kissed after us. The only woman I’ve ever gone down on, the only womanI’veever wanted, needed, or loved. Well, except that one time, but it turned out to be you. So…” I trail off.
The song stops playing. “So, forever then?”
I grin. “‘Til death do us part, baby. Even then. I’ll ask for one more lifetime.”
“So then you’re leaving for sure?” Jason asks the Monday after Homecoming, grabbing the weighted plate off the floor, putting the plate on the other side of the barbell.
I nod, bunch my sweats up a bit before taking a seat on the bench, then lay down. Jason stands behind me, ready to spot me. We both decided to hit the gym before it was time to pick up the kids after our shifts. “Yeah,after the wedding. We're going up there to go house hunting, I’ll put in as a coach at Hawthorne Prep.” I grunt, pushing the bar up and steadying it over my chest, beginning the descent and pushing up– rep for rep, getting to eight, and Jason pushing me for two more.
We switch places.
“But we’ll be back periodically to check in on the shop.”
Jason smiles a sad smile, and I can feel it, too. “No, you won’t. You’re gonna live a full, happy life out there, brother. Adelaide will be in your rearview mirror– the way it shoulda always been. You talk about Verity not bein’ small-town, but the truth is, you haven’t been in a long time, either. Maybe you never were, Dean.”
I arch a brow. “What do you mean?”
“You ain’t meant to grow old here and die, buddy. Just like her– you were meant to see that big blue world. Maranda and I do alright going on vacations, getting away from this town. We’ve got roots here. Deep roots, embedded into the soil itself. I know you made your life and did what you could to feel satisfied, but you’ve always been hungry for more. For her. Alifewith her. I want you to live it. I want you to send me pictures. You don't have to worry about visiting Adelaide– we’ll visit you when we can. Leave the ghosts behind, Dean. Ain’t good for you to take them with you.” He grabs the bar and does the same ten reps I did, like he didn’t just shell out another gold nugget of wisdom.
“‘Sides,” he grins once he stands up. “Who’s to say our kids won’t meet later on in life? Could be like one of them second-chance romances or something the wife goes crazy for.”
“My daughter isn’t marrying your son.”
He makes an all-too-knowing face and dips his chin at the bench so I can take his place. “We’ll see.”
I want to argue, but knowing him, he’ll stare off creepily into space again like the weird wise-mage he is, and I’ll somehow jinx it.
“Saw something weird the other night. Were y’all having a bonfire?”
My stomach sinks. “Somewhat. Verity found some things. Wanted to burn them. I obliged her.”
“Getting rid of ghosts already. Maranda does that. Says it’s like a cleansing or something.”
I blink at the man almost ten years my senior. “Yeah, something like that.”
I pick up Savannah and Noah after the workout, driving them to The Ink Plot to pick up their mama. Once she’s in the SUV with us, we go to my house instead of the farmhouse. When we park, Savannah looks out the window and shesmiles. “Is this your house?”
I nod once. “Ours, Sunshine. I’m almost done cleaning it out. I want you and your brother to pick your rooms.” I’m quick to open the front door once they’re all out of the car, and I’ll admit, I’m a bit nervous. Bear bounds out from the living room, letting out an excited bark and waits for the kids to pet him. The life Verity built for them is different from my two-story, two-thousand square-foot, brick house my nana passed down to me in her will. Unlike the farmhouse, nobody’s ever died in this home. And it was built in the late sixties. But I've kept it up-to-date, maintained it, and made changes throughout the last seven years I’ve lived here.
“It’s…” Sav starts. “It’s really nice.”
