Page 168 of Make Me Trust Again
“I can still see their faces.”
My breathing stops as his words ring in the air, but he’s not watching me. His gaze is fixed at a spot in front of him, his expression completely blank. His words are spoken so softly, for a second, I think I imagined them, but then he continues.
“My squad. I can still see their faces. We were joking around seconds before it all went to hell. Everybody was so excited because soon we were supposed to go home. They were talking about their plans. Engagements, birthdays, graduations… Just a few seconds, and then it all blew up, quite literally.”
A knot forms in my throat at his words, the pain on his face. “I’m so sorry, Chase.”
“I’m sorry, too. They were good men, Rose. And I failed them.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t fail them.”
Those hazel eyes turn to me, and I can see the demons battling behind his gaze. “I was the leader of our unit. They relied on me to guide them, to get them home, and I failed them. If somebody was supposed to die that day, it was me.”
He… What?
“No.”
The denial is out of my mouth before I can stop it. My heart is hammering inside my chest as his words echo in the quiet room.
Chase.
Gone.
I can’t imagine it.
I can’t imagine a world in which he isn’t alive.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Rose…”
“I don’t accept that. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for the families that lost their loved ones, but I’m not sorry that you’re here. With me. With your family.”
His expression softens. “Sweetheart…”
“I’m serious, Chase. I don’t want to know a world in which you’re not there. So don’t you dare say stuff like that.”
His arms tighten around me, and he rolls us around, so I’m lying on top of him, his lips brushing against my forehead. “Okay.”
“Promise?”
“I’ll try.” His arms wrap around me. “For you and Ky, I’ll try.”
I press my mouth against his chest, just where his heart is. “Good.”
Happy with that, I rest my head on his chest, nuzzling into his neck. For a while, neither of us says anything; we just hold onto one another. “Chase?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you mean it?” My tongue darts out to slide over my lower lip as the nerves start to get the better of me, but I force myself to look up. “What you said earlier? Did you mean it?”
“You mean the fact that I love you?”
My cheeks heat at the sound of those softly spoken words. “Yeah.”
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I love you, Rose Hathaway. I think I started to fall for you the first time you crashed into my life. Unexpected, stunning, resilient… You turned my life upside down. I didn’t want this life for so long, but being around you makes me want to try.”
“Considering you did the same, I guess it’s only fair.” I lay my hand over his chest and rest my chin against it. “I never thought I’d have this. Not after everything that had happened. I never thought I’d be able to find somebody who’ll make me want to put my trust in them. But at the same time, I’m scared. Isn’t it too soon? How is it possible to feel so much for somebody so quickly?”
