Page 187 of Make Me Trust Again
For such a small word, the weight of it felt heavy on my shoulders. Like a permanent brand over my heart.
Rose moves closer, her hands cupping my cheeks. “You’ve been more of a father figure to him in the last few weeks than John ever was. He looks up to you…”
I shake my head. “I’m the last person he should be looking up to.”
“You’re so wrong.” Rose’s face softens slightly before her gaze darts to Kyle, who’s still asleep. She drops her hand, her fingers clasping around mine as she pulls me to my feet. I follow her out of the room, leaving the door cracked open, just in case he wakes up.
Rose goes to the living room and pulls me down on the couch, those blue eyes watching me intently.
“I wish you could see yourself through our eyes, Chase. Kyle always talks about the way you do things and watches you. He values your opinion and listens to what you have to say, but more than that, he loves you, Chase. He sees a man who will take time out of his day to be nice to a kid that’s nothing to him. A man who’s willing to teach him about life and is there for him when he asks. A man who has no connection to him but doesit because he simply wants to. I cannot change who Kyle’s birth father is, and even if I could, I wouldn’t change it because I love my son just the way he is. John is a sorry excuse for a father, and I can’t change that, but I will never regret bringing you into our lives.”
“He got hurt because of me, Rose! John took him because he was angry with me. I should have done more. Hell, I should have been with him on that last ride, so none of this would have happened.”
My chest burns with anger at myself. Once again, I put people I love in danger, and they got hurt because of it.
“What are you talking about?” Rose’s brows pull together. “You jumped in front of agunfor us. You could havedied.Not just that, you were hurt because of us. So you could protect us.”
I shake my head. “But Kyle still got hurt.”
“Because of John!” Rose yells, she lets go of my hand, and frames my face, pulling me to her, our foreheads touching, her blue eyes fixed on mine. “It was because of John. Because of his selfishness and hatred. Because he refused to let me be happy even after we divorced, but he found no issue in cheating on me while we were together. So don’t you dare put this on yourself, Chase Williams, when all you did was try and protect me and my son. Any kid would be so lucky to have you as a father. We sure as hell are lucky to have you in our lives.”
Tears fill her eyes as she stares at me, the tip of her finger sliding over my lower lip. She was so brave throughout it all, but I can see the cracks in her armor now.
“I was so afraid, Chase,” she whispers. “So afraid that he would do something to Kyle. To you. And then I heard the gunshot, and watched you fall… I thought I was going to l-lose you.”
Her voice cracks, so I slide my hand around her waist, pulling her into my lap. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”
Her fingers slide to my chest, gripping at my shirt as she buries her head in the crook of my neck.
“Shh…” I slide my hand up and down her back, kissing the top of her head. “It’s over now. You’re safe. Everybody is alright.”
I continue murmuring soft reassurances as she cries into my chest while I just hold her. I’m not sure how long we stay like that, sitting on that couch, the dim light illuminating the space. Only when her shoulders stop shaking as much do I pull her back, looking at her tear-stained face. “C’mon, it’s late. Let’s put you to bed.”
“Stay with me?”
A knot forms in my throat; the sound of the gunshot is still ringing in my head. I struggle to swallow it down, my voice coming out rough, “I’m not sure that’s the best thing tonight, sweetheart. Not after what happened earlier.”
There is understanding and pain in her gaze. “I can take your darkness, Chase. What I can’t do is bear the thought of not waking up next to you tomorrow and wonder what’s real and what’s a nightmare.”
I should tell her no.
I should put her to bed and leave.
But when her fingers wrap around mine, and we get to our feet, I don’t try to stop her. We cross the short distance and step into the darkness of her room. Rose slowly helps me take off my clothes before doing the same with hers.
With her hand in mine, Rose pulls me toward her bed. I settle against the pillows, and she curls into my good side, her head resting on my chest, her palm covering my heart as if she needs to be close. Needs to reassure herself that I’m alright.
“I love you, Chase.”
I press my lips against the top of her head. “Me too. Now sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
ROSE
“Rose Marie Hathaway!” Mom yells the moment she opens the door, her breathing ragged as she takes me in from head to toe. “I’m going to kill you, young lady!”
I open my mouth, but before I can say anything, her arms wrap around me tightly, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. “Can’t. Breathe.”
