Page 123 of Make Me Trust Again
But when I turn around, the lifeless eyes staring back at me are not brown.
They’re blue.
The cool water trickles down my body. I press my palms against the tiles, bending my head under the icy spray, but it does little to wash away the images that are stuck in my head, rolling on repeat.
My fingers flex and relax as I struggle to push back the memories and focus on the here and now. On the feel of the water falling over my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Thehardness of the tiles under my fingertips. But those empty eyes keep haunting me—blue like the summer sky.
Pressing my lips together, I turn off the faucet and grab my towel, methodically drying off before I grab my clothes and put them on. All the while, the walls around me seem to be closing in.
Out.
I need to get out.
Turning on the balls of my feet, I tug at the collar of my shirt, trying to suck in some air.
Shadow brushes against me the moment I step out of the bathroom, her steady presence easing something inside me as we make our way out of the house.
I sink my fingers into her fur, rubbing at her neck.
My head is still throbbing as my legs start to move on their own, following the familiar path. The ringing in my ears dulls all the other noises around me, until something else pierces through that shrill noise.
I come to a standstill, my fingers curling into a fist by my side. I close my eyes, willing my breathing to still as I try to focus until I hear it again.
Laughter.
My eyes snap open, my gaze following the sound as I inhale deeply, some of that tension leaving my body as I stare at them.
Because, of course, I’m here. Even when I know I should stay away, my body finds its way here.
To her.
To them.
She’s okay.
That one thought resonates in my mind as I just stare at the two of them.
They’re sitting on the terrace together, the last of the sun’s rays peeking through the trees. Kyle giggles again, and I can see Rose’s hands move as she signs to him.
Shadow’s ears perk at the sound, but she doesn’t make an attempt to move. Her head tilts to the side, her tongue brushing against my arm. My fingers curl in her fur before letting go.
“Let’s go,” I whisper as I start to walk, Shadow following after me.
My heart is thundering inside my chest; every step I take makes my palms turn sweatier.
Rose shakes her head, her short hair dancing over her shoulders, making my fingers itch to sink into those silky waves.“You’re incor— Chase.”
A tentative smile spreads over her lips as her eyes meet mine. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip, a pink flush spreading over her cheeks. I know for a fact that that color goes low, all the way to those perfect breasts. I can remember the feel of the sounds she made when I kissed her—touched her.
So fucking selfish.
And yet, I’m still here. The last place I should be at.
I should stay away from her before I hurt her. And yet, I can’t bring myself to do it. Selfish. I’m so fucking selfish. One day, she’ll hate me for it, but today, I’ll bask in her presence. In her light. Because being around her is the only place where I find some semblance of peace.
Kyle turns around in his chair, his blue eyes wide when he sees me. A bright smile spreads over his mouth. “Chase!”
He jumps from the chair and runs to me, his arms wrapping around my middle in a strong hug. I rest my hand on his shoulder just as he pulls back.
