Page 165 of Make Me Trust Again
The corner of my mouth lifts upward as I fall asleep with the image of a smiling Chase still in my mind.
Blinking my eyes open, I’m greeted by the darkness. Night, it’s still night. Sighing, I turn around, only to bump into a warm body. My heart kicks up a notch in surprise, and it takes me a moment to remember the events of last night.
Chase.
Chase is sleeping in my bed, not John.
I let out a shaky breath, my muscles relaxing. Although we’ve slept together over the last few weeks, we’ve never actuallyslepttogether. Sure, I fell asleep with Chase by my side, but by the time I woke up, I’d find the bed empty, the place next to me cold. It was almost as if Chase wasn’t even there.
But now he’s here.
I slip my hand under my pillow and take him in. His brows are furrowed even in his sleep. It almost seems like a permanent mark at this point that accompanied twin bruises under his eyes. Even now, in the darkness, I can see their shape under his eyes.
“No.”Chase stirs slightly. I hold my breath as I watch him, wondering if I imagined it, but then there it is again. “No, no, no. Don’t do this to me.”
He’s dreaming.
No, not dreaming. He’s having a nightmare.
His voice is low, the raw pain unmistakable. It breaks my heart to see him like this, unable to do anything to take his pain away.
What kind of demons are haunting you, Chase?
I have no idea. He never confided in me about anything of this magnitude. Hell, I didn’t even know he had nightmares.
Is this why he’s never there when I wake up? So I wouldn’t see him like this? Wouldn’t know he’s having night terrors that are the reason behind those dark circles under his eyes?
“No, Lucas,” he hisses, turning away, and pushing the covers as if he’s fighting with an invisible enemy. Chase shakes his head, thrashing, his voice turning more pained. “No, don’t do this to me, man. You can’t die on me.”
My lips part, the unsettling feeling twisting inside my stomach for him, for everything he’s been through. But it’s probably nothing compared to the pain Chase is in. Losing a friend, is it even surprising that he’s so closed off? So guarded?
Tears gather in my eyes, so I bite the inside of my cheek to hold them back.
“I’ll get you out, I promise. I’ll get you?—”
“Chase?” I place my hand on his shoulder, hoping my touch will calm him down, but it does the exact opposite. His eyes fly open, panic flashing in them a second before I’m shoved onto my back, Chase’s body falling over mine, his hands pinning mine to the mattress. I let out a little yelp in surprise as all the air is kicked out of my lungs. I try to pull my arms out of his grasp, but his hold is iron tight, and there is no moving him.
Shit.
“Chase, baby?” I ask tentatively, my heart beating wildly inside my chest.
His eyes are open, pupils dilated.
But he’s still dreaming.
Still lost in his own mind.
His chest is rising and falling rapidly, sweat clinging to his naked skin, pink scars visible in the moonlight peeking through the cottage window.
“It’s me, Rose,” I whisper gently, trying not to startle him. His grip on my wrists grows stronger, making me wince in pain. I swallow the sound, trying to keep my tone steady. “I need you to wake up, baby. You’re just dreaming. It’s okay, you’re home. Just… Just wake up, okay? I’m here. You’re safe.”
For a moment, he just sits like that, but then he blinks a few times. I watch as that hazy look slowly disappears, his beautiful hazel eyes coming back into focus, and relief slams into me with force.
“Rose?” he croaks as he stares at me as if he’s trying to piece together what just happened, and I can see the moment it hits him. “Jesus Christ.”
Chase jerks his hands back as if I burned him, horror washing over his face. “Did I hurt you?” He shakes his head and pulls back, and I instantly miss the warmth of his body. “Of course I fucking hurt you. This shouldn’t have happened. I should have ne?—”
“Hey, it’s fine.” I sit upright, suddenly feeling exposed. “It’s fine. I’mfine.”
