Page 1 of Make Me Trust Again
PROLOGUE
ROSE
November
I turn to Kyle and ask, signing at the same time.“You want a snack? I made cupcakes.”
I watch as my son’s blue eyes light up at the mention of his favorite dessert. He loves everything chocolate, but nothing quite like chocolate cupcakes with chocolate chips inside.
The front door closes, just as he starts to sign. I raise my brow and give him a pointed look that has him rolling his eyes. If he is already so sassy at six years old, I don’t even want to imagine what awaits me once he is a teenager.
“Yes, please,”he squeaks out as his hands move, and his voice comes out high-pitched.
Kyle was born deaf. His diagnosis was completely unexpected. There I was, practically a kid myself, trying to recover after hours of grueling pain and with my emotions all over the place, only for my world to turn upside down when mydoctor told me that my son didn’t pass the hearing test during his newborn screening.
I was terrified.
Completely and utterly terrified.
The doctors told me that it didn’t have to mean anything and that we would repeat the test later. But how could I not be worried? I had this tiny baby depending on me, a baby that I was already completely in love with, and now he could be sick? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Was I responsible in some way?
Different emotions were swirling inside me for days and weeks afterward, until the doctors finally confirmed Kyle couldn’t hear, and after many more tests, we finally knew why—cochlear aplasia.
I listened to the doctors explain it to us. Kyle was born without a cochlea, the part of the inner ear that is responsible for hearing, and the cochlear nerve, which transmits auditory signals to the brain. The absence of it meant my son would never be able to hear.
The doctors tried to reassure us, but their words were a blur as I clutched my son, bundled in my arms, with a patch of dark hair mussed on top of his head, and those big, dark blue eyes, a boy who held my whole heart in his tiny hands. I knew there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him, so I started learning everything I could about the deaf community. I talked to doctors and specialists and started learning American Sign Language.
John appears in the doorway. His face twists with distaste at the sound of our son’s voice, and I’m glad that Kyle’s back is turned to him, so he can’t see it, because I know it would break his heart. It breaks a little bit of mine every time I see that sneer on his face.
“Why are you not signing?”
“We are,” I grind out, trying to keep my cool. “But he’s also practicing his speaking.”
Kyle notices that I’m talking to somebody, so he turns around, and I can see a tentative smile flash on his face. I hate not including him in the conversation, but I don’t want to be the one to point out his father’s annoyance, not that he can’t see it or understand, since he is getting better at reading lips.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Why even try?” John scoffs and shakes his head, completely tuning Kyle out. “He doesn’t sound normal. He never will.”
I press my lips into a tight line. I hate it when he belittles him like this. Yes, Kyle’s voice is different. He is still learning how to control it properly, something that is extremely hard because he can’t hear, he wouldneverbe able to hear, but our speech therapist assured me that it was possible. It would take a lot of work, a lot of practice, a lot ofpatience, but deaf people can learn how to speak. Their tone is different, almost like their own accent, but I love it. Hearing my son speak, hearing his voice, made it that much more special to me.
Not to my husband.
“Because he needs to learn how to speak, John,” I bite out, unable to hold back my annoyance. “Unfortunately, this world isn’t built to accommodate people like Kyle, so I’m sure as hell going to do everything in my power to help our son succeed. We were lucky to get Miss Parker as Kyle’s teacher, and that she was willing to learn some sign language, because getting a student aide in Bluebonnet is impossible. But she won’t be there forever, and he needs to be able to communicate with other people on his own.”
“They would need to understand him in order to communicate.” The sound of the phone ringing draws his attention. He slides his hand into his pocket and pulls it out, a smile spreading on his lips when he sees the name on the screen.He answers it immediately and turns around, dismissing me without a backward glance as he walks out of the room. “Hey, Shane. How you doing, man? Do you have any news for me? I’ve been working really hard on myself to stay in top-notch shape.”
His agent.
I should have figured.
Shaking my head, I glance at Kyle, who’s watching his father with a sad expression on his face.
That familiar anger at John’s behavior boils inside me, but I push it down and focus on what matters—our son.
I place my hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention.“Cupcake?”
Kyle just shakes his head as John’s loud voice comes from the living room. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
