Page 62 of Make Me Trust Again
I turn to my mother. “Thanks for looking after him.”
“It’s not a problem.” Mom waves me off. “He keeps me young.”
“You’re young, Mom.”
The woman doesn’t look older than forty, although she had just entered her fifties. I can only hope that once I reach her age, I’ll look as good as she does now.
“Not as young as I used to be.” She gives me a pointed look. “I just wish the reason why I’m looking over my grandson isn’t so you can go to your mediation.”
“Mom…” I sigh, not in the mood to get into this with her. I’m antsy as it’s from my encounter with John a few days ago. I don’t know what to expect today, and I don’t like it one bit. I’ve gotten accustomed to John’s moods, but lately he’s been unpredictable. On edge. It scares me. John’s always been a prideful man, and my leaving him struck him where it hurts the most.
“Okay, okay.” She lifts her hands in the air in surrender, but I know better than to believe her. “You look tired.”
“It’s been a long few weeks,” I amend. I don’t want to tell her I got the flu on top of everything else that’s been going on. She would only worry more and insist we come home. That’s the last thing I need right now.
“You’re working too hard,” Mom admonishes. “You shouldn’t be working so hard.”
There is no missing the pointed look she shoots my way—a silent reminder of the fact that when I was with John, I didn’t need to work that hard. I didn’t need to work at all. I didn’t need her to look after my son because I was there to do it myself.
“I like working. It’s been fun learning how to make all the different types of coffees, and Becky even showed me how to make some of her cookies, which Kyle is loving. Anyway, thank you for watching him. I hope this won’t take more than a few hours.”
“Take your time. We’ll be just fine.”
Smiling at Mom, I slip into my truck. I still have some time before I need to meet my lawyer, so I decide to stop at the Reading Nook to grab a coffee. I slept like shit last night, tossingand turning half the night as John’s threats kept spinning in my mind to the point when I finally managed to fall asleep, I was awakened by a nightmare. To say I could use a coffee is an understatement.
Jessica is standing behind a counter when I enter the café. She spots me immediately and waves at me before returning her attention to an unfamiliar couple in front of her.
“As I was saying, you should check out the farmer’s market; they have some amazing local delicacies, and I’d definitely stop at the Shooting Stars Ranch. They’re about an hour away from here, and they’re doing these cute horseback tours with a picnic at the end for tourists.”
“Thank you so much,” the woman says, grabbing a tray with coffee and sandwiches. “That was so helpful. And we’ll definitely be stopping again before we leave.”
The guy takes the tray from her and slips one of his palms on the small of her back as they walk to one of the open tables next to the windows overlooking Main Street, leaning closer to each other as they talk.
“A barista and a tour guide? Is there something you can’t do?” I tease as I step to the counter.
“Study for this exam, apparently.” She lifts a book from behind the counter. “It was quiet in the morning for a little bit, but it seems like all the tourists and locals are up and about just now.”
“I’m so sorry, I wish I could have taken this shift, but I’m meeting my lawyer.”
“Don’t stress about it. What do you want me to get you?”
“Iced salted caramel latte, please. Extra shot of espresso.” I climb onto one of the barstools. “It’s been a long night.”
“Tell me about it.” She turns around and grabs one of the to-go cups as she starts on my order. “I don’t know why I thoughttaking summer classes was a good idea. I’ve been living on stress and extra shots of espresso.”
“At least you know what you wanna do.”
Jessica glances at me over her shoulder. “Did you get a degree?”
I shake my head and force out a smile. “I had Kyle my freshman year. Never got back to it. Not that I regret it, but sometimes I wonder. You know?”
“If it makes you feel better, it’s not like I knew everything when I first started college.” She places my coffee in front of me. “My parents are both in education, so I thought I’d be a preschool teacher, but then, along the way, I changed my mind, so now I’m trying to get an associate’s degree in nursing. Not all paths are linear; you can still get a degree if that’s what you want.”
“I guess so.” I bite the inside of my cheek as I think over her words, trying to imagine myself going back to college and getting a degree. In what, I have no idea. When I first started college, the only thing I wanted was to have fun, party with my friends, and be with John. I always thought I’d figure out what I wanted to study along the way, only I never got a chance. And almost seven years later, I’m still in the same situation.
“It’s been so long.” I shake my head, letting out a soft chuckle. “I don’t even know where to start. It never occurred to me that maybe, down the road, I might change my mind and want to get a degree. Besides, I’ve not studied anything in so long, I don’t even know if I rememberhow.”
“From what I’ve heard, that’s not true. You’ve been learning ASL and are helping your son with speech therapy.”
