Page 65 of Make Me Trust Again
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHASE
“Have you talked to Matthew?”
I look in the rearview mirror to find my sister’s hazel eyes watching me from the back of my truck, where she’s sitting next to Jackson.
“He might have called,” I admit slowly, returning my attention to the road.
“Of course he calledyou,” Becky scoffs. “Meanwhile, he’s avoiding all of my calls. That little brat. Did he tell you the good news?”
Before I get a chance to even open my mouth, she continues.
“He’s failed some of his classes. Which means he lost his scholarship—last year.But instead of retaking them like any normal person would, he decided, what the hell with it, and dropped out of college. Did I mention it all happened last year?” Becky shakes her head as she continues on, “He’s been sleeping on his friend’s couch after that, but now he has decided he wants to be a police officer. I swear to you, I’m so close to getting on a plane and going to see him so I can put some sense into him.Something I should have done a long time ago when he was first acting out. Maybe then we wouldn’t be where we are now.”
My fingers curl around the steering wheel as I listen to Becky’s rant. A reminder of how much I’ve messed up when it comes to my siblings. I’m the oldest; it was up to me to take care of them. But I wasn’t there. I should have been there.
“I know, but whether you want to admit it or not, he’s a grown-ass man, Becs. He can do whatever he wants to.”
“He might be a grown-ass man, but he’ll always be my baby brother.” She presses her lips into a tight line, her gaze going distant. “Maybe if I’ve done something differently…”
“You’ve done your best. I should have been around more.”
From the corner of my eye, I can see her shift in her seat, her gaze boring into the side of my face. “Don’t you dare put that on yourself. Matthew was my responsibility. You were working, so we could have something to eat.”
That’s where she’s wrong.
“No, he wasn’t. At least, he shouldn’t have been. I’m the oldest,” I mutter through clenched teeth. “It was up to me to take care of our family.”
Matthew’s the youngest of us. He was only seven when Dad died. Not only that, he was the one who was in the car with him when it happened. That kind of thing messes with your head. After that, everything changed. Mom was depressed, and although Becky and I tried our best to be there for him and help him, we were still kids mourning our father. There was the estate to deal with, animals, and somebody had to work in order to put food on our table.
“Not sure how you were supposed to do that when you were killing yourself trying to take care of the farm, go to school, and work.”
I tried to manage the farm; what little good that did us. I’d been the one helping Dad with the small number of animals westill had left. The truth was, at that point, the farm had been doing poorly for a while, which is why Dad did most of the work on his own before he went to his job. At first, I figured I could do it on my own. If Dad could have done it, I sure as hell could. But then I barely managed to go to school, and my grades were slipping. Thankfully, the Santiagos had offered to buy us out. They took the animals and some of the land we owned, and they gave me a job so I could bring in money to cover our bills and have something to eat.
“Yeah, well, it is what it is.” Checking the street, I make a turn for the parking lot of the assistant living facility. “Just give him time. He’s an adult; he has to figure out things on his own, Becs.”
“I know. I just miss him. I texted him to come home since we’re having a Fourth of July party, but he’s been ignoring me. He hasn’t been home once after he left for college. Not once, Chase.”
“We all have demons we’re running away from.”
I can feel her gaze probing the side of my face, but I ignore it as I pull the truck into the parking space, kill the engine, and unhook my seatbelt.
“I know, but…” She shakes her head, leaving the sentence hanging as she changes the subject. “Do you want to come to our party? And before you answer, it’ll be just a few of us, out at the lake.”
Shit, I should have seen this one coming.
“You know I don’t do people, Becs.”
Or fireworks.
But I don’t bother pointing that out. I don’t want to open that box if I can help it.
“That’s what you said when I suggested Rose move into the cottage and look at you now.”
I press my lips into a tight line, refusing to take her bait. Becky sighs. “Fine, but the offer stands in case you change your mind.”
Highly unlikely.
