Page 81 of Make Me Trust Again
Turning around, I lean my phone on the glass that’s sitting on the counter so that I can sign more easily.
“Hey, buddy. Did I wake you?”
He sits up, the phone falling into his lap as he tries to find a better position as well, so I catch glimpses of his old room back at our house.
Not really. I can’t sleep.
“Is everything okay?”
Yeah.He shrugs.Dad left, so I’ve been with Billie.
“Did you guys have fun?”
Billie is a teen girl who lives a few houses from ours, and she looked after Kyle a handful of times when John wanted me to accompany him on one of his dinners.
I guess.His brows furrow, and I can see that stubborn look shine in his eyes.I wanna go home.
I bite the inside of my cheek.“Tomorrow.”
I want to go home now.
“I know, Kyle. But remember what we said? We have to try.”
Kyle’s lips press into a tight line, and I can see his anger and frustration in every muscle in his body as he signs:He’s not trying. He’s not even here!
“I’m so sorry, Kyle.”
I don’t know what else to tell him. He isn’t a little baby anymore, although some days I wish he was. Now he understands better the world around him, the people surrounding him, and their motivation. He can see how his father is treating him, and it hurts him. I wish I could do something to take that pain away from him, but I really don’t know what’s better. Either way, it’s not like I have much of a choice. I need to stick to the settlement, at least for now.
His shoulders sag.I just wanna go home.
“Tomorrow. Think of what you want us to do, and we’ll do it once you come back, okay? Just you and me.”
You swear?
“I swear.”
Okay.
He lets out a yawn, clearly tired.
“Go to sleep now, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“’Kay. Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, buddy. Put away the phone before you go to sleep.”
“Fine.”
With one last wave at him, I hang up, that ache in my chest back in place.
Letting out a long breath, I turn off the lights in the kitchen and make my way out to the back porch, where I take a seat on the swing, curling my feet underneath me.
This is just the first weekend, and John has already left Kyle with a nanny, making him want to go home. How the hell are we supposed to continue doing this? For how long? How many times will I be able to tell my son no after he asks me to come and get him?
Try. You need to try at least, Rose.
The divorce should be finalized in a few weeks, and who knows, maybe once all of that is behind us, John might decide he doesn’t want to bother with us. Is that too much to hope for? Am I a bad mother for hoping my ex would forget about our son?
