Page 76 of The No Touch Roommate Rule
Please, don’t let this end badly.
Please…don’t let it end at all.
Afterwards, as we’re catching our breath, I give praise where praise is due. “You’re very good at sex. Like…very good.”
“So, I’ve been told.” But his cocky grin softens into something tender as he adds, “You’re pretty wonderful yourself, Makena DeWitt.”
The way he says my name—like it’s something special, worth savoring—summons another goofy smile to my face. It’s a woman in love smile, one I haven’t felt in a very long time.
“Come on,” I say, before I do something crazy like drop the L word ten seconds into our “more than friends” relationship. “Let’s go buy some terrible t-shirts and get tickets to watch crabs commit suicide.”
“Living the dream,” he agrees, but he’s looking at me when he says it.
And maybe we are.
Chapter
Eighteen
From the texts of Leo Parker and Baylor Nix
Nix:Hey, man, where are you? Are you okay? I tried to call, but you didn’t answer.
Parker: Because I’m on vacation, and I’m in my twenties. What’s with you and Grammercy and calling people all the time? I know you like to fuck middle-aged women, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re in your forties. Do better. Always text unless you are literally on fire and need me to come put it out.
Nix: Well, it’s not a fire, but I fucked up pretty bad. I pissed where you eat, man. Or fucked where you eat? Whatever the saying is, I did it, and I’m sorry. I really am. I hope we can still be cool.
Parker:What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? It’s barely noon.
Nix:Stone cold sober. Just can’t stop thinking about last night…
Remember how you said I could use your hot tub while you were gone?
Parker: Yeah.
Nix:Well, I went over last night. I needed to get out of the city. You had the right idea, dipping for a while. It’s so fucking depressing here. Everywhere you look, there’s someone who has lost everything. I’ve been volunteering at clean-up sites and the food pantry line, but it never feels like enough, you know?
Parker:I know. It’s rough. But what does this have to do with you pissing where I eat?
Nix:So, I get to your place. Use the key under the potted plant like you said. Strip down in your laundry room because I just came from digging shit out of somebody’s basement, and I’m not about to track flood mud through your house like an animal.
Parker:Appreciate that. Get to the pissing part.
Nix:So, I walked out to the hot tub in just a towel, ready to soak away the pain, but surprise, surprise, there’s already someone in there. Someone who is also NAKED.
Parker: Oh shit.
Nix:Yeah. Naked and a WOMAN. She screamed. I screamed. My heart almost gave out. She threw a Solo cup at me. It was intense.
Parker:Please tell me you didn’t call the cops on each other.
Nix:No, after the screaming stopped, she explained that she was Makena’s friend who was taking care of the garden while you were away. I explained I was your teammate, who had been invited to use the hot tub, and not a home invader. And then… Well, I poured us both some more Chardonnay into that Solo cup, and we watched the stars come out, and one thing eventually led to another…
Parker:No! Tell me you didn’t.
Nix:I swear, I didn’t mean to. I was just really enjoying talking to her at first. About the flood and how helpless we feel, and how your zucchinis are getting out of control.
Parker: My zucchini?
