Page 35 of Shattered
Brett studied me for a moment and I knew he was choosing his words carefully. "We've been friends for a very long time, so you know I've always got your back?" When I nodded, he continued, "I know your family too, Logan, that's why I can say that they only ever have your best interests at heart. Even Eli. Hell, especially Eli."
It wasn't that I didn't have any sympathy for my brother's situation; I was just so damned sick of everyone using it as an excuse for him to treat people like dirt. I'd even used it as the reason he'd been so awful toward Harper when we went to pick up Flynn.
Angry at this realization, I gritted out, "He needs to understand that not every woman is going to do what Melissa did." Rubbing my hands over my face I let out a sigh. "I'm not stupid, I understand why everyone is so concerned and I know Harper has secrets. It's just…they don't matter to me. All that I care about is the way I feel when I'm with her."
"I hear ya, man," Brett pushed to his feet and walked over to the door. Nodding his head slightly, he studied me for a long moment before saying, "But just remember, family is important too and no one is worth losing them over." After tapping the frame twice, he disappeared down the stairs, leaving me alone to mull over his words.
It took me all of five minutes to realize that Brett was right. I didn't agree with them whole heartily but I also didn't like fighting with them, I especially hated fighting with Pop. It reminded me of days I'd much rather forget. Days when I'd been too stubborn to realize that he was trying to help me.
I'd been harsh on him and he hadn't deserved that. Not from me. I was just too pig-headed to understand that Pop was the last person who would pass judgment. This was one wrong I had to make right.
I wasn't too much of a man to apologize that's why I didn't hesitate to pick up the phone and dial my dad's number. We spent the better part of an hour talking things through and by the time I hung up it felt as if a weight had been lifted.
"So no hanky-panky yet?"
Lizzy took a seat next to me on the porch swing and grinned. I'd made the mistake of filling her in on some of the weekend's events, but as usual, she was just interested in one thing: whether or not I got some action.
After swallowing down some lemonade, I shook my head at her. "Really? Were you even listening just now?"
She had the audacity to look offended. "Of course I was listening. And you said Flynn was playing outside with the dog. Has it been that long that you have forgotten how to get creative?"
Clearly, choosing to take another sip of my drink while Lizzy was speaking was the wrong decision because I ended up choking on what didn't spray out of my nose. "Seriously!" I huffed out after I'd regained my composure. "Woman, you need help."
Through her manic laughter she managed to say, "No, sweetie,youneed help. The kind of help that only Logan can provide." And then the both of us started guffawing until tears were spilling from our eyes. Again, I was reminded of something else I'd miss when Flynn and I moved on to another town.
"Enough about me," I said in an effort to push my melancholic thoughts away. "Tell me more about this mystery man you're seeing. Are things serious?"
Lizzy started fiddling with the hem of her shirt while she stared into the distance. "For now we're just having fun, but he's kind of intense."
"What do you mean intense?" The battered part of me perked up and paid attention. That was the exact word so many other women I'd met at shelters used whenever they were describing their abusive partners.
Her shoulders rose and fell in a small shrug before she turned her head to make eye contact. "You know," she said with raised eyebrows and a smirk. "Intense…passionate." Sex! She was talking about sex and I couldn't be happier. The relief I felt must've been visible because straight away she added, "What did you think I meant?"
"I…" I'd always kept what had happened to me a secret. No one knew; except for the woman who'd helped me get my new identity. For some reason, I wanted to share part of me with Lizzy. So, after a deep breath, I said, "I thought that maybe he'd been hitting you or something?"
Lizzy looked truly perplexed. "Gosh, no! I feel sorry for the man who ever tries to lay a hand on me. He'll be on his ass so fast; it'll make his head spin." She was silent for a few seconds before her tone turned serious. "Why would your mind go there, Harper?"
Nervous, embarrassed, and, ashamed. I was feeling it all at once. However, for the first time in…well, forever, I felt safe too. "I haven't been entirely honest with any of you," I began. "The thing is: Flynn's father isn't dead. Hell, he doesn't even know he has a son." I couldn't even begin to fathom what would happen if he knew. "He wasn't the best husband," I continued. "Because of that, I knew he wouldn't be the greatest father. And, Flynn deserves nothing less than the absolute best."
Wringing my hands together, I looked out at Flynn playing with his toy cars in the sand before giving Lizzy my undivided attention again. With a quick shrug, I confessed, "That man would've been responsible for my death if I'd stayed."
I'd knocked the air out her lungs, or at least, that's what it looked like. With a slack jaw, her gaze flicked between my son and me, all the blood seemingly draining from her face.
"Harper," Lizzy brought both her hands up to cover her mouth and shook her head. "I don't even know what to say right now. I…I…had no idea."
I gave her wink, "That was kind of the point."
After a few silent moments, she quietly asked, "Are you going to tell Logan?"
Now wasn't it ironic that she'd ask me that? The truth was I'd almost told him about Drew on Saturday but then Flynn interrupted us. There were plenty of opportunities afterward though, but I just couldn't bring myself to say the words.
"I don't know," I answered honestly. What was the point in spilling my guts? I wasn't staying. And if he was to look at me like Lizzy was looking at me now—with so much pity—my heart would break. I didn't want or need anyone's pity, especially not Logan's.
I'd doubted my decision to be more open about my past the moment the words had left my lips. And now, long after Lizzy's departure, I still tasted the regret in my mouth. I thought to letting of some parts of that secret would make the weight of it lighter. I was wrong, so very wrong. The pity I saw in my friend's eyes just made my burden that much heavier.
After reading Flynn a bedtime story and tucking him in, I went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I figured a hot mug of comfort and a good book would take my mind off of things.
I'd just settled into my spot on the couch when a knock sounded. I was smiling before my feet hit the ground because I knew it was Logan. I didn't realize how much I'd wanted to see him until the moment I pulled open the door and saw him standing there.
