Page 39 of Shattered
"Yes."
I don't know why, but I allowed Logan to hold on to my hand as he led me up the wooden steps of his parents' wrap-around porch. On the outside their home was gorgeous. It stood proudly with its white walls and black roof. The wood creaked beneath our feet and even though it looked weathered, it felt sturdy, secure. The well-worn cushions on the porch-swing were a testament of days and nights spent there, just being. It all screamed of happy years and good times.
The things I wanted for Flynn.
My depressing thoughts quickly took a backseat when Logan opened the door and pulled me in after him. I felt a tug on my other hand and realized I was gripping my boy's hand too tight.
There was no time to apologize to him; we hadn't even made it fully inside the house before Logan's mother had her arms around my shoulders in a hug.
"I'm so happy you came," She squealed into my ear while all I could think was that I needed space to catch my breath.
"Momma," Logan must've known what I was thinking. "You're gonna crush her."
Daisy let me go and gave her son a look of warning before turning back to me with mild embarrassment on her face. "Sorry," she shrugged, "I'm just so happy that you made it."
I'm sure the smile on my lips looked forced and the "Me too," I uttered sounded weak, but the universe gave me a break when no one said anything and chose to focus all their energy on my sweet Flynn.
When I felt him squeeze my hand, I realized Logan was still holding it. When I turned my head to look at him my chest constricted in the worst way. Right there, in those whiskey-eyes, was the one thing that I was the most scared of.
Logan had some pretty strong feelings for me; I'd been seeing it in the way he looked at me more and more lately. The problem was that I didn't want to be loved. The only love I knew was toxic, and I had no desire to experience it again.
"Why don't you and I get better acquainted in the kitchen," His mother was speaking to me but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out how this man could feel about me the way he so clearly did. "Maybe the boys can go feed the horses," Daisy continued.
I had to say something, anything really, but my tongue felt heavy and my throat clogged. When I felt Flynn furiously tug on my arm I was pulled out from the spell I was under. Trying to figure out what I was feeling at that moment was a hopeless task so I focused on my son instead.
"Can I go with Logan, Mommy?" It took me a few seconds, but I managed to recall someone saying something about horses.Get it together, Harper!
"Sure, baby. Just be careful okay?"
I felt Logan's breath fan my ear before I heard his words, "I'll never let anything happen to my little man." Before I could say anything else, he pushed past me and hauled Flynn onto his broad shoulders with ease.
I was left gawking at the image of them bouncing down the steps in excitement. Maybe my head wasn't ready to admit it but my heart was making space for a certain dark-haired mechanic.
"He's amazing with kids."
I expected to find Daisy staring at her son with the same goofy look that I was sure I was wearing. Instead, I found her looking at me, and the expression on her face said she knew without a doubt what was going through my mind.
"Yeah," I barely managed to keep from sighing.
Logan's mother silently studied me for what seemed like minutes before she reached over and grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's get you something to drink and I could use a hand with the salads."
It took a while, but I ultimately found my footing around Daisy, I was even starting to feel comfortable in her company. She had this easy-going personality that reminded me so much of Chase but when I looked in her eyes, I saw Logan. The only difference was the heaviness in his wasn't present in hers.
As I shredded the cabbage for the coleslaw, I couldn't help but envision how great it must've been to grow up in this house, even if yellow was the predominant color. In any other place it would have been too much but here, the yellow walls, white counters, and light wood floor reminded me of sunshiny days.
I could see Daisy wearing a big smile as she cooked breakfast for her family while it was still dark out, or how she was waiting with a cool, refreshing drink when they returned after a hard day's labor. I could see it because if this had been my home and if this had been my family that's what I would've done.
It was the kind of life I always dreamed of having, the kind of life I thought I would have when I'd married Drew. Usually, when I thought of him I always felt fear, today, however, anger accompanied that. He'd taken my past and now I was allowing him to take my future too.
A future that could possibly include Logan Jackson.
"Don't freak out, Sugar," As if he was stepping straight out of my mind, Logan appeared next to me. "I kinda like seeing you like this."
I glanced at him but because I couldn't take the expression of hope on his face, I turned my attention back to the cutting board. I tried and tried to think of something funny to say but the only words floating around my head were: 'I like being here with you.'
Those words never left my lips though. Before I failed miserably at keeping my feelings in check, Logan spoke again, "Take a drive with me?"
I peeked at his mom over my right shoulder; she was trying her hardest to pretend that she wasn't listening to our conversation while chopping the potatoes with expert precision. Biting back a laugh, I turned my attention to the man on my left. "You want to go for a drive? Now?"
