Page 40 of Shattered
"I want to show you something."
Behind me, I heard his mom snicker and then try to cover it up with a cough. Apparently, he heard it too because when I looked back at him, he was blushing. Yes, Logan, the bad-ass, was beet-red. Not even his beard could hide it.
That was also the time I noticed something or rather someone was missing. "Where's Flynn?" I couldn't help it; my heart skipped a few beats.
"He's with Pop. Chris, the ranch manager, is showing him a few horse-tricks." I dropped everything in my hands and started to march out when Logan's fingers curled around my wrist. "He's safe, Sugar. No one will allow anything to happen to him."
I scanned his face for just an ounce of doubt and found absolutely nothing. Maybe it was that feeling that I was being watched that caused this paranoia in me. "I can't go with you and leave Flynn here."
"We're not going far. I'm not even taking you off the ranch." He didn't say it but this was important to him. I felt it in his touch and I saw the plea in his eyes. I felt compelled to go with him wherever he wanted to go.
"Let me just wash my hands," He held onto my wrist for a couple of seconds before allowing me to pull away. After my hands were clean, Logan took me to where Flynn was enjoying himself. I heard his laughter before I even saw his small hand petting the enormous animal. Logan's dad was on his haunches next to my boy, his arm wrapped around Flynn's tiny waist and Chris was keeping an eye on the horse.
A feeling of calm washed over me. There was no doubt in my mind that Flynn was safe with these people. How and why I came to trust them so quickly was anyone's guess, but I had a feeling it had much to do with the kind of man Logan was.
You don't raise such an incredible man without being a little incredible yourself.
I gave my son a quick kiss and promised to be back soon, but he couldn't care less. The ranch and the animals had all of his attention. I wasn't too sad about it, though, how could I be when Flynn was beaming with happiness.
With my arms wrapped around Logan's waist and my head resting against his back, we made the slow drive to wherever it was he was taking me. He'd wanted to take one of the ATVs instead of his truck and now, being able to breathe in the midday air and feel the rays of the sun warm my cheeks, I was glad he did.
He turned left, off the main road, and headed straight for the tall trees. I squeezed my arms tighter as the path became bumpier. After a couple of minutes, the ATV rolled to a stop and once the rumbling died down, I could hear the faint sound of running water.
"We're gonna have to walk from here. That alright, Sugar?"
Still holding on to him, I said, "Yeah."
Logan slid off the four-wheeler with ease before helping me do the same. Surrounded by nothing but trees and nature, I felt isolated and peaceful. Even the sun had difficulty touching us through the shelter the leaves provided.
Grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers, Logan started his trek to who-knew-where. The scary thing was at that moment I'd happily follow this man anywhere.
It became darker and the further we ventured, the soothing sound of the water grew louder. The rustling of the wind through the leaves filled my ears at the same time as the trickling water of the creek came into view.
"It's beautiful," I breathed, and it truly was. We were surrounded by forest, moss-covered stones and branches hanging so low, their tips dipped into the stream of crystal-clear water.
"This used to be my refuge whenever I couldn't figure life out." Logan pulled me closer and I went without hesitation, allowing him to wrap me up in his arms. "I don't come here as often as I want to anymore, though."
With my head resting against his chest, I closed my eyes and took a moment to fill my lungs with Logan's unique scent and listen to the steady rhythm of his heart. After a few moments the sadness in his voice registered. Lifting my head, I gazed up at him. "I can't imagine you not having a handle on life."
His smile was rueful. "Ah, sugar, you have no idea."
I was being greedy and selfish again when I asked, "Tell me?"
Logan didn't speak right away; instead, he searched for a spot where the ground was level. Pulling me down with him, he positioned me between his long legs allowing us both to face the water. With my back to his front, he reached around me and grabbed my hands, sliding his fingers between mine.
We sat like that for a while before he broke the silence, "I was a troubled kid. My parents had done nothing but love me and still I felt as if I didn't fit," he cleared his throat and continued, "I still feel that way sometimes. Anyway, Chase and Eli pretty much had their lives mapped out early on. While they were dreaming of their futures, I was trying to figure out who the hell I was and where my place was in this world."
I didn't know what to say but luckily, I didn't have to say anything, after another deep inhalation he spoke again, "It wasn't long before I fell in with the wrong crowd. You know the kind of people your momma usually warns you about. The kind who only care about two things: When your next hit or lay is."
His strangled words almost broke my heart. I gave his hands a squeeze, as much as I wanted to know more about him, I didn't want to have it at his expense. I told him as much but he was adamant that he wanted to continue, so, all I could do was listen.
"The more my parents and brothers begged me to step away from that lifestyle, the deeper I fell down the rabbit hole. Sugar, I was so far gone I didn't even recognize myself."
That was the kind of pain I was all too familiar with. It took a very long time for me to find myself after Drew had stripped me of everything. But this conversation wasn't about me, and I had a feeling that whatever Logan was going to tell me next was the cause of the heaviness I had spotted in his eyes a couple of times.
"I wish I could sit here and tell you that I came to my senses on my own, but I really can't. It took the worst kind of tragedy to stop my one-man-wrecking-show."
I was terrified of what came next and it wasn't because I thought that it would make me think less of him. It was the exact opposite. I was slowly realizing that the carefree person I thought he was, was simply a façade. This man was just as broken and bruised as me, maybe even more so. And, damn, if that didn't have me wanting to take away all of his hurt.
