Page 45 of Shattered
I saw the pain of my words flash across his face as I tasted the bitter lie on my tongue. "You don't want me, but still you gave me your body." His words were whisper-soft, but I heard them loud and clear.
One more lie. I needed to utter one more piece of untruth. Blinking back the tears that were suddenly burning the back of my eyes I said, "It was a mistake.Youwere a mistake."
Even in darkness, I could see the blood drain from his face. All I wanted to do was rush over, wrap my arms around him and whisper what I really felt. I couldn't do that, though, not when there was the smallest possibility that Eli knew my secret.
I tugged on the door handle and proceeded to slide behind the wheel of my Nissan. Logan was still staring into nothingness when I turned the key and my car sputtered to life. Without giving him a second glance I backed out, turned my car around and rolled down the little dirt road; my cheeks getting wetter and wetter the further I drove.
I couldn't sleep at all.
My mind kept drifting between two of the Jackson brothers. The feeling that Eli knewsomethingkept eating at me. It was even making me paranoid. Since I'd arrived home the previous night, I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.
When I'd managed to drift to sleep, the shattered look on Logan's face jolted me awake. It was probably my conscience giving me my just reward for hurting the only man I had a possibility of opening up to. It was a cowardly thing to do, especially since he'd braved through all of his secrets for me.
"You look like you could use three of these." I looked up to find Lizzy giving me a sympathetic smile as she placed the cup of coffee on the counter. I was in no shape to make breakfast, so Flynn and I headed to Lizzy's Diner for our most important meal of the day.
"Maybe you could just hook me up to a caffeine IV." I shrugged and cradled the hot mug between my palms before savoring that first sip.
My friend let out a little giggle that sounded more nervous than amused. Before I had time to question her, she moved to the other end of the counter to serve a new patron. I took the time to study Flynn, his head bent down and concentration evident as he desperately tried to color in the lines.
I was going to have to uproot him again, this time, though, the thought of moving settled heavy on my chest. There was so much I was going to miss. Willow Creek was truly the first place where I felt at home and I wasn't naïve enough to not realize that Logan had something to do with that feeling.
"Okay everyone is sorted for the time being," Lizzy leaned over the counter, cradling her own mug. "You wanna tell me why you look like you're about a step away from death's door?"
I glanced to the side one more time and once I was certain that Flynn was too busy to pay attention to my words, I leaned in and softly said, "I kind of needed to end things with Logan before they even began." I didn't even know why I was telling her this; I guess some part of me was just tired of trying to figure things out on my own.
"Needed to?" She asked, "As in you didn't have a choice?"
Nodding my head, I brought the hot liquid to my lips in hopes that I could rid myself of the sudden well of emotions burning my eyes and throat.
Lizzy's gaze flicked to Flynn before returning to mine. "Why?"
"It's a long story but you remember what I told you about Flynn's father?" When Lizzy confirmed, I continued, "There's more to it. I needed to keep my boy safe and to do so I had to do things I'm not proud of. Now, someone is threatening to expose those secrets and that can't happen."
It took her a moment but what I was saying finally clicked. She leaned even further over the counter and after looking left then right, she dropped her head and whisper-shouted. "It's that damn asshat, Eli, isn't it?"
"It doesn't matter. The point is I should've known better than to get involved with someone."
Lizzy wrapped her hands around my wrists and looked at me with a scary intensity burning in her eyes. "Harper, I'm the last one to give romantic advice, especially since my latest venture ended up to be a complete mess. But, this thing with you and Logan, it looks to me like the real deal. I don't know what's chasing you, but what if he can help? Don't you think both of you deserve the chance to find out?"
I needed to change the subject because even if I didn't want to admit it, Lizzy was right. "I'll think about it," I said and then asked. "I thought things with mystery man were on track."
A deep sigh fell from her lips as she moved to hug her coffee to her chest. "Leave it to me to find the crazy ones." With a shake of her head, she aimed her stare into the distance. "A couple of nights ago he had too much to drink and started ranting about how he was going to make me pay for ever leaving him. I don't have time for loco in my life so I left mid-rant and haven't been to see him since."
"Geez, Liz, I'm sorry."
My resilient friend waved a hand through the air. "Don't be. He was never myLogan." She pinned me with a stare that had me feeling so uncomfortable, I was having trouble not fidgeting on the spot.
"Mommy, when are we going to school?" Flynn impatiently asked and without knowing, saved me from the situation.
"We're leaving now, baby." I reached into my handbag and placed a few bills on the counter before helping Flynn gather his stuff.
"This conversation is not over," Lizzy yelled just as I pushed open the diner door. Knowing her she'd likely stop by the clinic during lunch and give me another piece of her mind. Was it bad to hope she'd bring her famous quiche too?
Trying to work with Harper and her little freak-out running through my brain probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. Especially not since I was working on a formidable businessman's Dodge. Not paying attention to the job at hand, I kept turning and turning until I stripped the damn part.
"Son of a-" I straightened so abruptly, I hit my head against the open hood of the car. As my anger bubbled to the surface, I pulled my arm back and gave the wrench a lesson in flying. I was about to smash my fists into the wall behind me when I heard someone approach.
Holding up two fingers, Brett came sauntering toward me with a grin on his face that I wanted to smack off. "Two steps," he said. "If I had stood two steps to the left, that thing would've hit me in the head. What the hell man?"
