Page 27 of Ruined
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“I’ll be good, Sheriff.” Like she’d been doing for the past half an hour, Kenzie dramatically batted her lashes. She’d been teasing me non-stop since we’d left the diner.
I didn’t even care that I looked like a teenager when I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Will you let it go already?” Folding my arms across my chest, I pinned her with a stare. To my utter mortification, she burst out laughing. “Really?”
“Oh come on, Zoe. I’ve seen you flirt a thousand times, I know what it looks like.” Kenzie pulled her phone from her back pocket and after the screen came to life, her thumbs flew over it.
“That wasn’t what it was,” I defended, even though I knew I was lying. Sure, my game had been weak, but it had never been my intention to be even remotely flirtatious. Hell, the way he’d treated me when I’d first arrived, I’d been determined to stay far, far away from him.
Then Eli smiled.
I swear my entire body stood up and took notice of it, it was the strangest thing. For that moment, I’d even managed to forget about my troubles. It wasn’t the fact that he’d smiled that had affected me, but rather that he’d smiledatme.
“And that twinkle in your eye was just the sun?” The tone in Kenzie’s voice dared me to disagree with her.
Unfortunately for my friend, I was always up for a challenge. “Exactly that.”
“You keep telling yourself that,” she mumbled. Her phone dinged and after she read the message, she slid the device back into her pocket. “Anyway, I’m more interested in this kiss.”
“Ugh.” I fell onto the couch with a grunt. “It was a kiss, what more do you need to know?”
Kenzie stalked toward me, waggling her index finger. “Ooooh no, you don’t.”
“I honestly don’t know what you want me to say, Kenz.”
I kept my eyes on her as she took a seat next to me. She gave me a look as she swiped her hands over her denim-covered legs. “I dunno, maybe start with why you didn’t tell your best friend.” She narrowed her eyes at me in a playful manner. “I thought we told each other everything.”
She was joking — I knew this — it didn’t stop me from feeling guilty over another secret I was keeping. Dropping my hands to my lap, I started fidgeting with the hem of my dress. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
Her hands covered mine immediately. “Zoe, I was kidding.” She searched my eyes for a moment. “What’s really going on? You are not yourself and it’s scaring me.” Squeezing my hands, she begged, “Talk to me, please?”
I wasn’t certain if I could muster up enough courage to tell her what had happened, I only knew I had to try. After a few deep breaths, I began, “You’re right. I’m not me or at least the me I used to be. When I left here, my stupid mind kept replaying my moment with Eli.” I let out a snort. “It was pathetic, really. Anyway, after about a month of wondering whether I should just come here and throw myself at him again, I decided to go out and get over the silliness the way I always did.”
My heart started to pick up speed. I pushed to my feet and paced the small space between the couch and the mirror. “You know how it goes, Kenz. I see a guy, we talk, we leave together. It’s the way I’ve always done things.” When I stopped pacing, I was met with a sympathetic look in my friend’s eyes. She knew why I’d behaved the way I had and never judged me for it, not once.
The back of my eyes started to sting while what happened next already replayed in my mind. I had to swallow a few times before I could speak. “So I took him home, one thing led to the other, but then I had this epiphany that I actually deserved more, that I wanted more.” The tears fell now, I let them. “Kenzie,” I sobbed. “I swear, I said no, and I kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen.”
I barely had time to blink, and she was there in front of me, her arms around me like a blanket. I wanted to close my eyes, shut my ears as memories of that night slammed into me with the speed of a bullet train.You wanted this. You asked for it.As if Kenzie could hear my thoughts, she hugged me tighter. “Oh, Zoe. I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
The arms that had offered comfort a mere moment ago now threatened to suffocate me. I pulled back and twisted out of her embrace. Giving her my back, I tried my best to compose myself, to fight off the tears that were coming hot and fast.
The more I fought them, the faster they fell. The ache in my chest became more painful with every broken sob that left my body. The more I cried, the louder the insults sounded in my ears. Two warm, comforting hands took me by the shoulders, urging me to turnaround.
“Zoe?”
I lifted my gaze to Kenzie’s only to find her eyes watery, her cheeks wet. It was easy to see that the pain that was so ingrained in me had touched her too. She grabbed my hand and guided me back to the couch. “Please tell me he paid for it.”
Looking her in the eyes with so much shame, hurt, and anger bubbling through my veins was impossible. My gaze shifted to my hands resting in my lap. “I reported it but—” The rest of my sentence died on my tongue as I lifted my shoulders into a shrug.
“But what?” Kenzie’s hand shot out, her fingers curling around my wrist. She tightened her grip, forcing me to look at her. “Please, for the love of all things holy, tell me that bastard is rotting in jail.”
I so desperately wanted to tell her that because I’d willed for it to be true so many times, but the sad fact was, “The case was dismissed.” The disappointment and hurt were still as fresh as if it had just happened. All your life people teach you that if you speak up, if you do the right thing, justice will prevail. Twice now, that statement had been proven wrong.
“Dismissed? Are you serious right now?” With every word she spoke, my friend became more upset. “He, he—” she shook her head, unable to speak the ugly truth. “How did this happen?”
My voice remained steady as the bitter words fell from my lips. “I have a reputation and he has a lot of friends.” A morose laugh broke free. “In the end, it was my word against his.”
Kenzie’s brows pinched together. “Surely, there were tests…I mean after.”
