Page 37 of Make Me Whole
Shaky fingers slowly rose to trace each one of them. Every touch evoking a new memory. Each recollection causing my gut to churn with guilt.
I snapped my eyes shut and begged my demons to leave me be, even if it was only for today. With my lids still tightly squeezed together, I inhaled slowly and steadily before exhaling in the same manner.
Not today. I kept repeating the words in my head until the anvil on my chest started to lift. I'd had moments like this more times than I could count, but this was the first time it had lasted mere minutes.
If I had any doubts that my time on the ranch had been a salve to my wounds, they were all dispelled.
The material in my hands was surprisingly soft and I couldn't resist rubbing it between my fingers before I slipped it over my head. The sleeves looped around my upper arms; leaving my shoulders bare. Although the bodice was tight, the skirt flared out; the scalloped hem ending a few fingers above my knees.
Twisting this way then that way, I smoothed my hands down the dress as I admired the woman staring back at me. She looked…pretty. Two loud bangs against the stall door had me gripping my chest and catching the curses that almost slipped out.
"It's just a dress," Jessie's muffled voice sounded. "What's taking you so long?"
A wide smile tugged at my lips. "I'm coming."
A second later, I emerged from the dressing room. The instant they noticed me, Talia and Jessie pushed off the wall they were resting against and rushed me.
"I knew you'd rock this dress." This coming from Talia who was slowly circling me.
"The bra has to go, obviously." Jessie appeared in front of me and shocked the hell out of me when she reached forward and tugged my bra-straps off my shoulder before tucking them under the sleeves around my arms.
With a wink, she teased, "Your boobs are perky enough, you can get away with not wearing one with this dress."
My mouth fell open at the same time as my arm came up to form a shield in front of my modest chest. The loud squeal of laughter that sounded as if it came straight from her belly bounced off the walls.
"Oh honey, we're all friends now. No topic is off limits." She gave me a pointed stare. "Even your boobies."
It was my turn to laugh. The sound came from somewhere deep inside me, a place that had been drowning in hurt and anger for far too long. The girls slipped into their own changing rooms and after we had our own little fashion show in the store and paid for our loot—I ended up taking the dress—we headed to the little café a few stores down.
We spent the next two hours chatting like old friends over chocolate milkshakes and burgers while Jessie entertained us with hilarious stories. Her mother owned an adult toy shop and according to her there was never a dull moment on the job.
I was still wiping the tears of laughter away, when Jessie reached beneath her chair and retrieved the rectangular box from earlier. Placing it on the now cleared table, she slid it toward me. "Just a little something to make that dress of yours pop."
My heart contracted in the best way as I tugged the box closer and tentatively lifted the lid to reveal a pair of stunning brown leather cowgirl boots. "Jessie," I murmured. "They're absolutely stunning." I lifted my gaze to meet hers. "But it's too much. I can't possibly accept it."
She dismissed my protest with a wave of her hand. "Oh, hush. You can and you will. Think of it as a welcome to Cedarbrook gift."
My fingers came up to trace over the intricate stitching on the leather. "Thank you."
The smile on Jessie's face was as genuine as the look in her eyes. Talia leaned closer and gave me a one-armed hug.
It was kind of scary how easy it was to feel part of their little unit. How at ease I felt with them. Almost as if I belonged. And if I were being completely honest, it was becoming more and more difficult to find a reason not to make Cedarbrook my fresh start.
