Page 67 of Make Me Whole
"Are you doing all right, son? I know it was a lot to take in—"
I interrupted him by blurting out, "I have so many questions, Dad."
My father leaned back and curled his fingers around the armrests. "I figured as much. Lay them on me and I'll answer as best I can."
Why was I so anxious all of a sudden? I licked my lips and pushed past the nerves. "Did you know where Mom was all this time?"
A pained expression crossed over my father's face. "No, but I wish I had." Instead of firing off another question, I waited. Silently, willing him to move past the emotional barricade we'd erected between us years ago.
My patience was rewarded when he finally spoke again. "I have so many regrets, Bradley. The biggest one of them all is not fighting for your mother. I can't even say I wish I'd fought harder because I let her walk away."
"Why?"
When his gaze flicked to his desk, I followed his line of sight until an old photo came into view. Perching myself on the edge of my seat, I leaned forward and touched the tip of the polaroid. "May I?" Dad's answer came in the form of a nod.
After lifting the picture off the desk, I brought it closer to my face to study it. My heart toppled over when I looked at my parents happily smiling at each other. They were standing in front of this very house; my dad's hand splayed on my mom's enormous belly.
"You loved her." It wasn't a question. "So, why did you let her go?" Setting the picture down, I pushed it toward him.
My dad released a slow breath through his nose. "I've asked myself that very question and the only answer I can come up with is stubbornness." His thick, gray brows pulled together. "And stupidity."
Taking in his answer, I nodded tentatively. "Did you know she was so unhappy?"
A humming sound came from the back of his throat. "There were signs, especially after your sister was born. But things were so different back then, we didn't understand how depression truly affected someone. When she told me she was fine, I believed her. Never in a million years did I think she would leave us."
"But the fights…" I could still hear the yelling. Could see the hurt in his eyes and the hate in my mother's.
"People argue, son. We get angry and do and say things in a fit of rage, doesn't mean we stop loving each other." He leaned back and tilted his head slightly before studying me for a long, somewhat uncomfortable few seconds. "Forgive me for asking but is this just about your mother, son?"
Dragging my palm over the back of my neck, I shifted in my seat. My father and I didn't talk feelings, but dammit, today I wanted to. Maybe even needed to. "I think I'm in love with Hailey."
An easy smile accentuated his laugh lines. "You think?"
"No, no." I shook my head. "I'm certain I am."
"Then what's the problem?"
I laced my fingers and tucked my hands behind my head. Eyes fixed on the ceiling, I confessed, "I'm terrified that I don't know how to have a relationship." My gaze dropped to the man in front of me while my brows pulled together. "It's difficult for me to share what's going on in here." After untangling my fingers, I tapped the left side of my chest.
My father's wrinkled hand smoothed over his beard. "Over the years, I have seen the walls around your heart go up brick by brick. And even though it saddened me, I'd always thought it was for the best because I never wanted you or your sister to have to feel the pain of a love lost."
He leaned forward and placed his folded arms on the desk. The muscle in my chest constricted when I saw unmasked sadness in my father's eyes. "I see now how wrong I'd been." His eyes flicked to the photos again. "I would endure another twenty-seven-years of loneliness, if it meant I could have one more day with your mother."
Those all-knowing eyes of his found mine again. "Loving someone is the riskiest thing you can do, because essentially, you're handing them your heart to do with as they please." He paused for a second and then added, "But it's also so incredibly rewarding."
My brain was still processing what he was saying when he left his seat and rounded the desk. His big hand clamped down on my shoulder. "If you love this woman, go tell her. Don't hold back because your mother and I didn't set the perfect example for you."
Dad leaned back, perching himself against the edge of the wood. Arms folded in front of him, he gave me a long, hard look. "I think it's time you go develop that piece of land you bought years ago."
Pretty sure my jaw hit the floor right then. "You know about that? How?"
His smile morphed into a hearty chuckle. "Small town, son. Nothing remains a secret here for long." With a wink, he added, "Old McMillian called me when he heard you'd put in an offer; he wanted to know if we were expanding."
Shaking my head in disbelief, I said, "Of course he did." I swallowed hard and then asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"
Something that looked a lot like hurt and regret flashed in my dad's eyes. "I was waiting on you to tell me about it."
"I should've told you, but part of me always felt guilty for wanting to be on my own." Shrugging, I added, "Like I would be abandoning you and Talia."
