Page 53 of Egotistical Jerk
Twenty-two… Twenty-three… Twenty-four… No, no, no. Please, don't die. You can't go, we have babies to name. Please, I don't want to lose you. Thirty-three… Thirty-four…
Helpless to stop it, two thick streams rolled down my cheeks, wet and hot. My throat was on fire from the sob I was so desperately trying to keep from escaping. All around me people were yelling my name, but I couldn't stop.
Not now.
Not yet.
Where is that damn crash cart?
I was about to demand just that when I was yanked off Mrs. DuBois's body with a force so strong it knocked the breath right out of me. A second later, Sebastian's face filled my vision. His hands clamped down on my upper arms and he squeezed. Hard.
"Mia!" Those dark eyes of his flicked between mine; begging, pleading. "She has a DNR." He paused, waiting for the moment his words registered.Do not resuscitate. When I sucked in a sharp breath, he angled his head toward Dr. Sandeep and growled, "Call it."
"Time of death, two-seventeen."
Chapter 24
SEBASTIAN
"No."
The one word fell from Mia's lips so soft, so broken, it felt like a knife plunging into my heart. Twisting and turning, making sure the wound it left behind wouldn't be healed any time soon. The salt that was so brutally rubbed in came from Dr. Sandeep following my order and calling T.O.D.
Mia's glassy green eyes flicked from me to Dr. Sandeep before colliding with mine once more.
"How could you?"
I understood better than anyone when you lost someone—be it a loved one, a friend, or a patient—the hurt inside of you translated to blame. Almost as if the only way our brains could fully process what was happening was by blaming something or someone.
Right now, for Mia, that was me. I knew exactly from where it stemmed, but shit, if my heart didn't squeeze a little too tight at the way she was looking at me. Like she couldn't stand me. Didn't know who I was.
I let go of her arms to cup her cheeks. However, before I could cradle her beautiful face between my palms, she smacked my hands away.
"Don't touch me."
Yeah, that stung. Not even just a little but a whole damn lot. The only thing that hurt more was when she shook her head before pushing past me and storming off.
There were things—protocols—that needed doing, but all I could think of was how I needed to comfort Mia as much as I needed her to comfort me. Because, shit, Cheryl had finally lost the damn fight. The ache in my chest became too much. I had to rub my palm over the spot again and again.
Cheryl had left us.
My lungs collapsed in one fell swoop, a big gaping hole mocking me from the spot where my heart was supposed to be. I'd failed the one person I'd so desperately wanted—needed—to save.
I dropped my hands to my hips and tried to suck in a few breaths. My throat burned with the emotion working its way to the surface. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed it down. I could break down in private. Could scream and yell at the universe for being so damn unfair behind the closed door of my office.
I took one breath, then two before Mia's devastated face flashed before me. That hole in my chest grew a few more inches. If I was feeling like this, how much worse did she have it? How bad was it for my Mia who didn't meet a single person who wasn't a friend? How big was the hole inherchest?
"Shit," I muttered under my breath. I couldn't let her leave like this. Opening my eyes, I zeroed in on Dr. Sandeep. "You know what to do?"
In answer, he gave me a tight nod that betrayed the fact he, too was affected by this tragic loss. "Go." His throat worked down a swallow that I could tell was thick and heavy. "I can handle things here."
I thanked him by giving him a quick nod before rushing out of the room. In the back of my mind, I knew there was no coming back from this. People would know—they probably already did—that Dr. Mia Phillips meant something to me. A very big something.
A flash of red caught my eye, and I immediately changed directions and headed toward the elevator. My feet moved faster with each step I took until I broke out into a full run, sidestepping a few patients and nurses.
I reached her just as the doors slid open. She lifted her leg to take a step inside and my hand immediately shot out. Fingers curled around her delicate wrist, I tugged Mia closer. Moving fast, I spun her around so she was facing me. One step forward took me close enough to wrap my arms around her shoulders and hold her against my chest.
Mia squirmed and with a hoarse, broken voice she demanded I let her go.
