Page 59 of Egotistical Jerk
"I do. Mimi, nothing about loving someone is easy. The moment you utter those words, you're telling the other person it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to say and do stupid things sometimes because you will be there to catch them. Saying 'I love you' is equivalent to saying 'I know you're not perfect and that our life might not be sunshine and roses all the time, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be.'"
My throat felt thick and my heart heavy. Did I love Sebastian? Was it even possible to love someone so soon?
I must've said it out loud because my aunt spoke again, her voice wistful, her smile dreamy. "Oh yes, it is." Aunt Vera's lids fluttered closed. "I knew your uncle was it for me the very minute I laid eyes on him." She opened her eyes and zeroed in on me. "My heart beat differently almost as if it had found its song, and could finally beat to the rhythm of it."
Pushing to her feet, she rested her hands on my shoulders and squeezed. "Love doesn't abide by a certain set of rules except one: don't wait until it's too late." Giving her words time to sink in, she rubbed up and down my upper arms. "I don't know about you, but I am starving."
Her words stayed with me while I helped her prepare a chicken and rice dish. They never left, not when we were eating or even when I cleaned up the kitchen for her. They were still bouncing around in my head when I trudged up the stairs leading to my apartment later that night.
Holding onto the railing, I looked down at my foot resting on the top step and made a decision. Quite possibly a life-changing decision. In the morning, after a good night's rest, I'd tuck away my pride and tell the man that owned my heart exactly how I felt about him.
I cemented it with a quick jerk of my head before stepping onto the landing. Three things happened at once after that.
The breath left my lungs in one big whoosh.
My heart flatlined before it toppled over and started thrashing against my ribs like a caged animal.
One whispered word blew over my lips.
"Sebastian."
Chapter 28
SEBASTIAN
Big, wide eyes met mine as I slowly got up from where I sat against Mia's door. My joints creaked, and I wasn't sure if I still had an ass.
That's how long I'd been waiting outside her apartment.
When I arrived earlier in the day and realized she wasn't home, I was afraid to leave. Afraid I might miss her. Might miss my chance to make this right. There was a good distance between us as Mia stood rooted to her spot at the top of the stairs. Still, the hurt and shock on her face was unmistakable.
We stood staring at each other for too many minutes to count. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and never let go. I held my breath when Mia angled her head to the side and looked down at the path she just came from. I swear, if she was going to bolt, I was going to give chase.
More long agonizing seconds ticked by before she finally took a step forward. The breath I held rushed from my lungs and my shoulders sagged with relief. I could see her chew on the inside of her cheek as she took careful steps toward me.
When she stopped beside me to unlock her door, not reaching out and tugging her to my chest was almost impossible. Mia's gaze flicked to her fingers curled around the handle before lifting to meet mine.
"Have—" the word came out groggy and hoarse, I knew it was because of all the crying. Her chest rose and fell with the deep drag of air she took. After a quick flick of her tongue over her lips, she spoke again. "Have you been waiting long?"
"Doesn't matter. Can I come in, please?"
Mia's eyes roamed over my face. For a moment I thought she was going to say something. But she only gave me a terse nod before pushing into her apartment with me in tow.
"Do you want something to drink?" Dropping her keys on the coffee table, she toed off her shoes.
I shook my head. "No. I want to talk. Explain, if you'll let me."
Shaking her head, she made her way to the master bedroom leaving me with no other choice than to follow.
"Mia, please?" Drawers were yanked open, clothes tugged out and thrown on the bed.
"There's nothing to explain, Sebastian." In one swift motion, she pulled the top of her scrubs over her head before stepping out of the bottoms.
"So… what… We're done? Just like that?"
The stupid muscle behind my breastbone constricted violently. So painful, I had to press my fingers to the spot. If she didn't want me, that was fine. Well, no, it wasn't. It was very far from fine. But I wasn't going to leave without giving her my truth whether she wanted to hear it or not.
"I should have been honest with you about everything. It might not look like it from where you're standing, but my actions came from a place of fear."
