Page 57 of Egotistical Jerk
SEBASTIAN
"Shit!" One angry swipe of my arm was all it took to send the items on my desk crashing to the floor. Dropping my hands to my hips, I threw my head back and glared at the ceiling as if it was to blame for everything wrong in my life.
I should have known the truth would find a way to come out and that it wouldn't be pretty when it did. It'd been colossally stupid to think I could keep something so potentially life-changing to myself without any repercussions.
And now, because of that stupidity, I'd lost Mia. The look in her eyes right before she stormed out of my office was something I had hoped to never see. A mixture of hurt, disdain, and betrayal. If she'd taken a knife and plunged it into my heart herself, it would have hurt less than that look.
The worst part was knowing I damn well deserved it. That was also the reason I let her go when what I really wanted to do was rush after her and pull her into my arms. More harsh curses tore from my lungs or perhaps it came from the big, dark hole inside my chest.
The sound of my door opening had me whirling around like a fool and hoping to hell it was Mia coming back. Although I knew it couldn't possibly be her—she'd been too angry, too hurt—it didn't stop the disappointment from spreading through my veins at the sight of Simon filling the doorframe.
"You all right, man?"
"No," I answered honestly. "I'm definitely not all right."
Simon stepped forward, weary eyes scanning the mess on the floor before they rose to meet mine. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked as he slowly shut the door behind him and approached me like I was a bomb ready to go off.
Which I probably was.
"Everything has gone to hell," I blurted out when he lowered himself onto the couch. The same couch where I had consoled Mia, and she had comforted me. I had to close my eyes again. How the hell had this day turned into such a damn shitshow?
Desperately needing some sense of calm to return to my body, I drew in a few ragged breaths. When I opened my eyes, I found Simon leaning forward, elbows perched on his thighs, clasped hands dangling between his spread legs. The expression on his face told me he had all the patience in the world.
After another deep drag of air, I leaned back against my desk and told him everything. The more I listened to the words coming out of my mouth though, the worse I felt. How the hell did I not realize that it would end badly? I was so damn scared of losing the one woman I actually saw some kind of future with that I didn't even care how my actions would affect her.
Yeah, I wasn't feeling too good about myself right then.
"Not gonna lie," Simon finally said after he quietly listened to me talk. "This isn't good. Keeping things, important things, from your partner never ends well."
Dragging my palm over the back of my neck, I hummed in agreement. "I know."
My friend studied me for a long moment before he fell back against the plush cushioning. He tucked his laced fingers behind his head and nodded sharply as if he had come to a conclusion.
"You can't leave things like this," he announced. "Not with Mia."
I scratched my chin and then folded my arms in front of me. Getting through to Mia wasn't going to be easy. "She's beyond pissed, Simon. You didn't see the look she gave me before she walked out."
He dropped his hands and sat up straight again. "So you're just going to let her go because she's pissed off?" I didn't like the way he narrowed his eyes. "If you feel as strongly about her as you claim you do, you'll fight for her. Even if she tells you to bugger off a million times, you'll still go back, you'll still try to convince her to forgive you."
He was right, of course. Sitting here cussing at the universe wasn't going to do me any good. It sure as hell wasn't going to make things right between Mia and me.
And just like that, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
Chapter 27
MIA
The instant the door flew open, I launched myself at the woman standing on the other side. Aunt Vera caught me easily. Her arms wrapped around me, offering me the comfort I needed so badly.
I took one breath and then lost it completely. The tears and hurt I'd so carefully kept inside on the drive there finally pushed out of my body in big, ugly sobs. Burying my face in the crook of my aunt's neck, I curled my fingers into the material of her shirt and bawled my eyes out.
"Mimi, what's wrong?" Her hand gently stroked up and down my back, but it was the slight wobble in her voice that gave away her concern.
"Everything." My one-word confession came out with a crack and a sniffle.
I hated it. Hated that I had turned into such an emotional mess. I'd always been strong; I'd promised my dad I would be. But right there, sobbing in my aunt's arms, I felt like the weakest person.
"Come on."
