Page 15 of Slow Burn
"You were?"
I heard her take a shaky breath. "Sometimes it's easier saying things to a machine." Zoe's quiet confession felt like another jab, this one hitting me right in the center of my chest. Or maybe a little to the left.
Thing was, I understood what she meant. It was my fault things were this way. I hated what I'd done to myfamily. How I'd turned them into such careful versions of themselves around me.
I wanted to apologize.
To make my wrongs right.
That wasn't what came out of my mouth, though. "Do you want me to hang up so you can leave a message?"
The soft laugh that filtered through the line felt like a gentle caress to my tattered soul. "That seems kind of silly since I have you on the line now."
"I guess."
The answering silence lasted so long, I pulled the phone from my ear to check if the lines were still connected. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Zoe's voice sounded again. "Please don't feel obligated to say yes, but I… I mean we were wondering if it would be all right with you if we come down for a visit? It won't be until school's out in a few weeks, though."
She had spoken so fast, it took my brain a few seconds to decipher what she'd said. When it did, nervous tension pulled my back straight before licking its way down my spine. "Who's we?" I asked wearily.
Another shaky breath sounded at the other end. "Just me, Eli, and Molly."
They were her husband and stepdaughter. I'd only met them once. It was about eight months before I moved to Clearwater Bay. From the little I could remember, the guy seemed decent enough, and I'd tried to avoid the little girl as much as I could.
Kids asked too many questions and stared without shame.
"It's totally okay if you're not ready, Adam," my sister said, her voice soft and full of understanding I hadn't earned. "I just thought it would be nice to show Molly the ocean while she's on her break and…" She paused for a long second. "I kind of miss hanging out with my brother."
Ah shit. How the hell could I say no to that? I couldn't. Not if I wanted to get back some of what I lost. But having them here in my space would mean I had nowhere to hide. I closed my eyes and dropped my chin to my chest. With a tight pinch to the bridge of my nose, I forced the words out through gritted teeth. "A visit sounds great."
The excited squeal, a few decibels too loud for my ears, should have eased some of the tension in my already tightly wound body. It did the opposite. Zoe was absolutely thrilled while I was scared shitless that I would only disappoint her.
We said our goodbyes after she promised to sort out all the details closer to the date. I was still staring at the damn phone nestled in my palm long after our conversation, an uneasy sense of foreboding slowly but surely working its way to the surface.
A feeling that still had my mind reeling hours after speaking to my sister.
Swiping the back of my hand over my forehead, I wiped the sweat from my brow. With a deep groan, Istraightened my back and almost sighed with relief when my spine let out a satisfactory crunch.
I'd been hunched over my workbench, sawing and sanding the yellow pine, for the better part of the day trying like hell not to give in and beg my sister and her family not to come.
A year ago, that's exactly what I would have done. Although to be honest, a year ago I wouldn't even have answered my phone. Somewhere between choking on sawdust and sweating my balls off, I realized that building bridges wasn't meant to be easy. I was one lucky son of a bitch to still have the love and support of my family, and if keeping it meant I had to sit through uncomfortable visits and endless questions about my scars, then that's what I had to do.
Lifting my cap, I dragged my hand through my hair when a blur of gray caught my eye. Before I had time to utter the curse that lay on the tip of my tongue, Fugly was sitting beside my feet; tail furiously smacking against the ground.
"What the hell?" The dog, who clearly did not understand human, let out an ear-splitting excited yelp and shockingly thumped his tail even faster. Making a shoo motion with my hand, I groaned, "Go home."
The damn dog only seemed more determined to get on every single one of my last nerves. After another yelp, he jumped onto his hind legs and started pawing the air. Just like he had done last time. "No!" I admonished. "Go away."
To my horror, he hobbled closer and scratched my legs. I took a step back and he immediately followed. Flicking my wrist, I noted that it was still a few more hours before a normal nine to five workday would be done.
Maybe my neighbor didn't keep normal hours.
Shaking my head, I bent down scooped the mutt up, and held it to my side. Glowering at Fugly, I muttered, "Bad dog." That he seemed to understand. Flattening his ears, he let out a little whine that almost had me feeling bad for him.
Dog tucked under my arm, I hopped over the fence and marched to the glass door that looked a lot like my own. The door wasn't completely shut, so I poked my head in. "Hello?" The first thing my eyes landed on was a crate sitting in the corner of the wide space. Slowly my gaze traveled; taking in the small dinette, the slate gray L-shaped sectional and everything else in between.
There was an unmistakable home-y feeling about it all. A sliver of the feeling I felt when I watched her in the mornings made itself known. It wasn't enough to calm the madness inside me but it made me crave more. I tried to push it away as I scanned over the framed pictures lining the walls.
Every cell in my body vibrated with the need to step inside and study them.
