Page 5 of Slow Burn
Giving me a gentle tap against the cheek, she smiled sweetly. "You can thank me by never changing your dreams for anyone." With that, she spun around and made her way to her car, each of her impossibly long legs moving with grace and elegance.
With a final wave, she pulled away from the curb and I finally stepped into the studio. I dropped my purse to the floor and toed off my pumps before pulling the polo withYoung's Hardwareetched on the breast pocket over my head.
Standing in a pair of black leggings and my sports bra, I scrolled through my phone untilChristina Perri's Humanfiltered through the tiny speakers. After setting the device on Lucetta's table in the corner, I moved to the middle of the polished floor.
Closing my eyes, I lowered my chin to my chest and slowly rolled my head first left then right. My shoulders came next. Then I shook out my legs. Eyes still shut, I took a deep breath, letting the lyrics and beat lead me.
I flew through the air; kicked and spun until I was too tired to move another muscle. Because when my body had no energy, I wouldn't be able to wallow in the sad fact that the people I loved most couldn't accept me for who I was.
3
ADAM
So much smoke… and heat. I rubbed at my eyes, but it only worsened the sting. Behind my ribs, my heart was pumping two times too fast. I didn't care, I needed to find her. "Angie!!" I yelled for what felt like the hundredth time. Why the hell wasn't she answering me?
An ear-splitting cracking sounded above my head a second before a beam came crashing to the ground. "Shit! Dammit, Angie, answer me!" Nothing but the popping sound of flames replied.
Where the fuck was she?
I opened my mouth to call for her again; no words came. In their place, a coughing fit that left my lungs as hot as the fire dancing around me. Clutching at my chest with one hand, I used my other arm to shield my eyes.
Still, I couldn't see.
"For shit's sake, Angie. Tell me where you are?" I begged hoarsely. Somewhere in the distance, I heard my name being called. It sounded like my friend, Griffin, but I couldn't be sure. Between the crackling fire and my heart's thundering, my hearing wasn't the best.
"Ang—"
A fierce heavy heat stole my breath as it smashed down on my left shoulder. The pain so severe I cried out in absolute agony. Frantically I grabbed at my chest, trying and failing to get air to my lungs.
"Angie," I whispered her name one last time before my already blurry vision distorted to nothing but cold blackness.
"Fuck!" Gasping, I jolted upright and dragged a shaky palm over my face. "It was just a nightmare," I assured myself as I forced a steady breath from my lungs. I swung my legs around and planted my feet on the ground. The cold tiles a welcome reprieve from the memories so vivid, I could still feel the searing heat of them as if it had just happened.
Over my shoulder, I glanced at the soaked linens. Would there ever come a night where I didn't wake up in a cold sweat? Or was this the price I had to pay for failing? For not saving her?
Pushing to my feet, I welcomed the sting of self-loathing that washed over me. I deserved it, and asking for respite was like giving a pardon to a murderer on death row. With sharp, angry movements, I yanked the sheets from the bed and strode to the laundry room where I deposited them in the washer.
Without fail, that was what every night had looked like for the past three years. Peaceful slumbers were only afforded to those whose souls weren't blotched with big, black spots.
My still-shaking hand came up to trail along the slightly raised, too-smooth skin along the left side of myneck down to my shoulder.Monster.I felt like one, and now I looked like one too.
A tortured cry tore from my lungs and I smacked my palm against the wall with so much force, it should've hurt. But fortunately—or unfortunately—for me, the deep-rooted anger I felt wouldn't allow any other feeling to the surface.
And I was okay with that.
I made my way to the kitchen and pulled my old friend,Jack,closer. Foregoing a tumbler, I screwed the cap off and swallowed down a decent amount of the amber liquid. Even that did nothing to settle my nerves. I didn't understand how you could feel so alone and yet be so crowded by your own thoughts that you felt suffocated.
Bottle in hand, I dragged my ass into the backyard. I didn't bother with lights; darkness suited me just fine. It was where I belonged.
I had no idea how the harmonious humming of the waves managed to break through the craziness inside my head, but I welcomed it nonetheless. The fifty-pound anvil on my chest eased up slightly, allowing me to take my first real breath since the past had pulled me from my sleep.
Tilting my head skyward, I closed my eyes and dragged another shot of salty air to my lungs. And then did it again and again until the chaos inside of me became less demanding. Less intrusive.
By the time I made my way to the couch in the tv room, my lids felt heavy, my limbs tired. My six-foot-six frame collapsing onto the semi-soft cushioning with zerograce. A long heavy sigh pushed past my lips as I curled onto my side, knees pulled to my chest.
There was only one thing left to do: close my eyes and wait for the nightmare to start all over again.
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