Page 64 of Slow Burn
"What are you talking about?" I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to hear the rest of this history lesson. But wanting something and needing it were two different things. And I needed this. Desperately.
Before she straightened, my mom gave my thighs a reassuring squeeze. Using her index fingers, she wiped beneath her eyes as she settled back in her seat. "When it was time for your dad to leave the house, Madison begged him to take her with. She had no interest in finishing school. She just wanted to dance."
Bowing her head, she watched her fingers trace one of the flower patterns on the material of her skirt. "Hewould've given her the moon if she'd asked him for it. But even that wouldn't have saved her. Dancing is not an easy industry to break into." She pinned me with a stare. "As I am sure you know."
I nodded and she went on. "Madison had gone for audition after audition, but they always found someone more experienced. Skinnier. Prettier. It took a toll on her, and she soon realized she couldn't sustain herself like that.
"Now the Youngs were—and still are—a proud bunch. The thought of going home and admitting she'd failed never even crossed her mind. So she started dancing in strip clubs. Turned tricks fairly soon after too."
My heart broke for my dad's sister. I knew how tough it was. Understood the need to succeed and the hurt that followed when you didn't. "Where was Dad when this was happening?"
"Back here in Clearwater Bay." My mom sighed. "His father had needed him at the store. He came back while his sister chased after her dreams in New York."
Man, that sounded eerily familiar.
"He used to visit her over the weekends," my mom continued. "Even took me with him a few times. I can't even tell you how many times I had wished I'd been with him on that fateful day." Tears were streaming down my mom's cheeks, and it was impossible to keep my own away any longer.
"When he'd gone to her apartment, her roommate informed him she hadn't been home in a few days. Your dad spent the entire day going from place to place, chasingdown leads that led him to the motel room she was found in."
My mom's shoulders shook with every broken sob that left her body. I was out of my seat and had my arms wrapped around her within seconds. "Oh, Maddie." She wept into my shoulder. "She'd taken a bad batch of whatever she'd been injecting herself with. For two days she was in that room until your father found her. Lifeless."
My tears came hot and fast. I didn't even want to think about how I would feel if I found Jennah's lifeless body. I couldn't fathom how something like that affected your psyche. No wonder my dad was the way he was when it came to dancing.
Holding my mom tighter, I sniffled. "I hate what happened. I really just wish you or Dad had told me about this. It might not have changed how I felt about dancing, but it would've helped me understand better."
My mom pushed me back slightly so she could look me in the eye. "I know, Maddie. Heaven knows we've made so many mistakes when it comes to you girls. It's not an excuse, I understand, but we honestly didn't know any better. Your father's parents blamed him for Madison's death. He was the big brother; he should've protected her. I think in his own way he wanted to protect you and himself, that's why he couldn't fully support you."
What did I say to that? She was making sense, but I was still hurting. Maybe even a little more now that I had the entire story.
I wasn't sure where this left us, though. It was obvious my mom was trying.
But would my dad?
"He loves you, Maddie," Mom said softly. "He might go about showing it the wrong way, but you and Jennah and little Tommy are his world. It's not his fault life had made him hard, and it's not fair he took it out on you."
My mom's arms were around me, and even though I was halfway between sitting and standing and uncomfortable as hell, I wasn't letting go. Her hand smoothed up and down my back as the floodgates finally opened and years of hurt came spilling over my lids.
I ached with every wretched sob that left my body. I cried for the sister my dad lost. For the horror he faced. Wept for the little girl who craved her family's support and never received it.
My heart broke for all of us. Wrapped up in my mom's embrace, I cried until I lost track of time. Until all the pain and anger was purged from my broken soul.
When my mom walked me back to my car after who knew how long, our eyes were puffy, our cheeks mottled and red, and our lips smiling. She hugged me tight once more and begged me to give my dad a chance.
I couldn't promise her I would.
There were a lot of things my Dad and I still had to figure out, but if he was willing to try, I'd be too. Because family was important and even though mine had their faults—myself included—I loved them.
Driving away, I felt lighter. Not completely healed but definitely lighter. And the only person I wanted to see happened to live right next door to me.
29
ADAM
Ugly.
Hideous.
Monster.
