Page 76 of Slow Burn
"You scare me, Adam." The words came out barely above a whisper, but he heard me all the same.
I saw hurt flash in his eyes before he blinked it away. "I do?"
"Yes." Closing my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath and decided to dive into the deep end. To serve up my heart on a silver platter. His for the taking…or the breaking. My lids parted and the words rushed out of my mouth. "I'm terrified. I shouldn't be feeling what I'm feeling. It's too soon."
Behind my ribcage, the sacrificial organ thundered about wildly. Adam's eyes, dark so very dark, bore into me but I couldn't read a single emotion in them. Suddenly, I felt vulnerable and exposed. Swallowing roughly, I twisted my head away from him.
Not even a second later, Adam gripped my chin and guided my gaze back to his. "Didn't I tell you I was right there with you?" he rasped, his voice cracking on the last word. Adam moved to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing back and forth over my skin. "It scares me too, but not finding out where this can lead scares me even more."
His gaze roamed over my face. Serious. Searching. It made my skin feel about two sizes too small and had every hair on my body standing on end.
"Be mine, Maddie? Just mine."
Instead of voicing my answer, I lifted onto the balls of my feet; winding my arms around his neck and pushed my fingers into his hair. I kissed him with everything I had in me. And I knew without an ounce of doubt that I was never getting my heart back.
32
ADAM
"I like her." My sister nudged my arm with her shoulder as we walked along the beach. Maddie had left not too long ago after she received a message from her sister about some party. It didn't take Zoe long to drag my ass out for a walk.
She had questions, probably a million of them. Since her inquisition had been cut short by her husband not long after Maddie and I had walked back into the house, I knew she'd find a way to get her answers.
My gaze skittered over the ocean. There was no wind, no crashing waves. Only calmness. Exactly what I felt deep in my bones. "So do I," I said to Zoe as we stopped walking and turned to face the big blue.
In the quiet that followed the past three years played out like a movie in front of me. In it, I was the antagonist. Selfishly putting up walls around myself and shooting hurtful arrows at the people who cared for me even when I didn't deserve it.
Twisting, I looked at my sister. She'd gone to hell and back all by herself and not once did she shift the blame onto anyone else. "Zoe, I'm so sorry. I should've been there for you. Protected you."
Shaking her head, she tucked a few of her blonde strands behind her ear. "You know I don't hold it against you, right? You had your own battles to fight."
"But maybe if I had pulled my head out of my ass, I would've been able to see that you needed me."
More head shaking. "Don't do that. The past is the past. No amount of anything can change it." Zoe reached for my hand and squeezed. "Honestly, if I had to go through it all again just so I could have Eli, Molly, and these babies inside me, I would. Sometimes we have to walk through the pits of hell to find our own slice of heaven."
Shit if I didn't understand exactly what she meant. I had been in my own version of hell when Maddie had found me. Looking back, it was those horrible events that led me to her.
My second chance.
My salvation.
My everything.
Wrapping my arms around Zoe's shoulder, I pulled her to my chest. "I'm so proud of you, Zo. You're one hell of a woman, and these babies are so damn lucky to have a badass mom like you."
She sniffled against my shirt. "Don't forget Molly."
I chuckled and smoothed my hand down her back. "And Molly too."
Gently pulling back, she wiped under her eyes, lips lifting into a wide teasing smile. "I can't wait to tell Mom and Dad you have a girlfriend."
I threw my head back and laughed, surprised at how easy it came. "Maybe I should do it…I do not want to give either of them a heart attack."
She laughed too. "Definitely not." Over her shoulder, she looked down the path we'd just walked. "We should probably head back. We still have a few hours on the road ahead of us."
"I hope I didn't chase you away."
"You didn't," she promised. "Eli has to be at the station early tomorrow and I still have a few things to take care of at school. After I spoke to the doctor and realized I'd have to cancel our planned trip, it made me so sad I forced Eli to drive here without really thinking it through." Her expression turned solemn. "I wish we could stay longer."
