Page 76 of An Inconvenient Marriage
“And if I want you to touch me?”
Zach’s eyes sparked with unmasked desire. “Then I need you to tell me you understand everything I said.”
This is a mistake, I told myself.You’re already in too deep. Your heart is already involved whether or not you want to admit it.
None of it was a lie.
But he didn’t need to know that.
Lifting my chin, I held his gaze. “I understand. Whatever happens will be nothing more than sexual. No feelings and no strings.”
If I tasted the bitterness of the lie on my tongue, I could only hope Zach didn’t see it in my eyes.
20
Zach
Whatthehellwasthis woman doing to me?
Never before had I shared the story of my mother’s deceit and death with anyone. No one else knew the truth. Except Javier. But my brother and I had never discussed it. Not for lack of trying on his part.
Especially when he’d gone to therapy. All he’d wanted to do was talk, talk, talk, and all I ever did was shut down.
Until Natalie.
I didn’t know what had come over me when she’d asked about my mother, but whatever it was had better not come back. I hadn’t lied when I’d told her I wanted nothing to do with love, and that still hadn’t changed.
It didn’t matter that Natalie made me feel things no one else ever had. When the time came, I’d let her walk out the door without hesitation.
And she’d just told me she understood exactly that.
I should have been over the moon, but this feeling brewing behind my breastbone most definitely wasn’t joy or elation. For the sake of my damn sanity, I wouldn’t explore it either.
I couldn’t. Not when I had more pressing matters to attend to.
And if the heat burning in Natalie’s eyes was anything to go by, she certainly agreed.
But I had to be sure we were on the same line on the same page.
With great reluctance, I let go of her chin and scooted back. I knew better than anyone how distracting a touch could be and I didn’t want her agreeing to anything when she wasn’t one hundred percent in control of her thoughts and feelings.
I wasn’tthatbig of an asshole.
“And you’re okay with that?”
A small frown touched her forehead. “Yes.”
“Really?” Cocking my head, I raised my eyebrow. “You’re okay with us using each other’s bodies to satisfy our needs, no matter the place or time? You’re completely fine with me touching you, pleasing you, and still walking away in the end?”
Her answer came out as a hesitant whisper, “Yes.”
That should have been enough for me to put a stop to whatever it was we were doing. But I couldn’t. Her mouth had said what I wanted to hear, and there was no going back now.
Apparently, Iamthat big of an asshole.
Ignoring the voice inside my head, I got up and closed the distance between us. Without saying a word, I bent down and took her mouth in a kiss. I’d meant for it to be brutal and ruthless, but it wasn’t anything like that.
It was slow and deep. Every tentative stroke of her tongue against mine registered somewhere inside my chest. The more I tried to push it away, the more prominent it became. Like a drum beating louder and faster.
