Page 93 of An Inconvenient Marriage
“I know what I said about our mother hit a nerve,” Javier started. “And even though I still stand by it, I am sorry I said it to you. I should have known better.” With a pained expression, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“You’ve never said it, hell, you’ve never talked to me about any of this, but it doesn’t matter. I saw your hurt and anger when we were kids. I still see it now.” His voice cracked a little, and he paused for a moment to swallow down the water Martina must have brought him.
When his attention was back on me and I saw the sadness on his face, my chest hurt so damn much, I had to rub my palm over the spot.
“I hate that you thought you had to carry this alone,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Because you’re not. You never were.”
It was my turn to swallow the thickness inside my throat. “I know.” My brows furrowed as I tried to find the right words. “You were a kid, you didn’t need all that negativity taking up space inside your head, and when you went to therapy, I didn’t want to mess with your progress by keeping you in the past with me.”
“Then why didn’t you come with me? Or even talk when I begged you to?”
“Because hate and anger are powerful driving forces.”
Javier shook his head. “So is happiness.” His words were barely out when he lifted his hands in surrender. “But I didn’t come here for a therapy session either. I came to offer understanding. While I don’t agree with whatever you have planned for Trent Stevens, I won’t begrudge you the revenge you clearly need. I just hope when all is said and done, it’ll be worth it. That your heart will finally know peace.”
Javier pushed to his feet and held out his hand for me. I took it, but instead of shaking it, he pulled me up into a hug that ended with a smack against my shoulder blade.
Stepping back, he added, “You should know I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you were looking at Natalie out there. You might not realize it yet, but she makes you happy.”
What did I say to that?
So does chocolate. But just like chocolate, everything eventually goes bad. I didn’t want any part of that. And yet, as the thought formed, my conscience accused me of being a liar. Because the truth was, I wanted it all. I was just too afraid to take it.
“Speaking of your lovely bride,” my brother interrupted my rambling thoughts. “I was hoping to take the two of you to dinner. I’m leaving for my next tour in a few days and will be on the road for the next three months at least. So I figured a fitting goodbye would be in order.”
My head was still spinning, but thankfully I could get my shit together long enough to form a coherent sentence. “I’m sure she’d like that.” I spun around, intending to head upstairs, when a thought hit me.
Turning to face my brother, I poked my index finger in his direction. “You better keep your flirty remarks to yourself, and no touching for longer than necessary. Fuck, no touching at all. Got it?”
Javier barked out a loud obnoxious laugh. It grated on my damn bones.
“Don’t worry, brother, she only has eyes for you anyway. Go get ready, we have a six o’clock reservation.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You were awfully sure this would go well.”
“Eh.” My brother lifted a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “I know you better than you think.”
For whatever reason, it felt like I was seeing my brother for the first time, and damn if I wasn’t proud of the man he’d become. And because I seemed to have trouble voicing my emotions, all I could muster was, “I’m glad you stopped by today.”
With that, I turned on my heel and made my way to the bedroom. I walked in just as Natalie slipped from the bathroom with a towel around her waist and one twisted on top of her head.
Our eyes met at the same time, and I saw the question in hers. Nodding once, I answered before she could ask, “All good.”
Her smile was big and beautiful. “That makes me happy.”
Javier’s words immediately jumped to the forefront of my mind.You might not realize it yet, but she makes you happy. Was he right? Too many thoughts, too many questions. I couldn’t deal with any of it.
Shoving them all aside, I focused on more important matters.
“Do you have a dress that comes up to your neck and goes down to your ankles?”
Natalie scrunched up her nose and drew her brows together. “Do I what?”
This was ridiculous, I couldn’t tell her what to wear—even though I really wanted to. Scraping a palm over my face, I shook my head. “Javier wants to take us to dinner.”
The sweetest laughter filled the room. “Ah, I see, and you want me all covered up, right?”
“That would be preferable, yes,” I admitted, and fuck me, she laughed some more. That delicate melody reached into the darkest part of my heart, the part I thought dead, and embedded itself so deeply, I’d never get it out.
