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I’d witnessed first-hand how those four lonely letters were nothing more than a stupid word people used to manipulate each other. I’d seen it work.

I’dfeltits meaning.

Unbidden, the last memory I had of my mother jumped to the forefront of my mind.

“Fuck!”

A deep, stabbing pain shot through my chest. So strong I braced my hand against the door to keep my legs from giving out. I hated the memory, but I welcomed it, too.

It would always remind me why love was the dirtiest word that existed in my world.

Why I would never want any damn part of it.

I pinched my eyes shut and let the memories roll through my brain. Watching my mother take her last breath over and over again. Reminding myself why I couldn’t lose her company.

And why I’d never let anyone get close enough to hurt.

I was so lost in my own damn mind when two loud bangs sounded against the door, my entire body jerked, and my already racing heart went into overdrive.

“What the hell?”

It was Sunday morning, and the only company I’d expected for the entire day had just left.

It wasn’t like the few family members I had would casually drop by for a visit. And since Rafe and I had walked in on Tristan and one of his conquests, we texted before we showed up.

I glared at the piece of wood.

Maybe the blonde was back.

A shudder worked its way down my spine, and I immediately decided to simply ignore whoever was outside.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

“Open up,Sfigato. I have news.”

“Fucking Rafe,” I grumbled under my breath as I yanked the door open. “It’s early, de Luca. What do you want?”

Not fazed by my tone, Rafe pushed past me and chuckled. “I take it the blonde sulking in the elevator just left your delightful company.”

Another sigh blew over my lips as I shut the door for the second time. Rafe knew some of my emotional baggage, but even though I trusted both him and Tristan with my life, I’d never shared everything with them.

So, to him, the blonde who had just left my apartment was nothing more than a one-night stand I’d picked up.

If he only knew the truth…

Ignoring the shame slithering through my veins, I spun around and marched my ass to the kitchen. I needed a stiff drink, but since it was still what most considered breakfast hours, I opted for coffee instead.

“I’m hurt.” Rafe mock-cried.

I whipped my head up from where I was preparing the coffee machine and glared at him. “What?”

The idiot propped his shoulder against the frame and very dramatically put his hand over his heart.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I growled.