Page 16 of Falling for Red
“I’m learning your face.”
Before I can respond, Anna returns, sliding our cocktails in front of us. The timing couldn’t be better, a distraction from this feeling of vulnerability.
He holds his glass up for a toast. “To learning how to read each other.”
I lift my glass, clinking it against his. But I’m less present, getting lost in my thoughts.
Learning to read each other.That’s what I’m doing, isn’t it? Trying to figure out if this is real. Trying to figure out if I can trust him. If I can trust myself again.I don’t want to get hurt.Most of all, I don’t want to be let down again.
As we sip our drinks, I try to push all those thoughts out and enjoy this great date.But that nagging voice is still there. It’s always there.
“Do you have any siblings?” I ask. Maybe learning more about Jake will help me get out of my head. “Tell me about your family.”
“I have an older brother and a younger sister. Neither of them live in the Midwest anymore. My parents live a couple of towns over, and we’re pretty close. Like Saturday night dinners together, and I help them around the house when stuff breaks.”
Of course, he has a close family.Of course, he’s the perfect guy who helps his parents.I shouldn’t internally groan, but I do. He keeps getting more and more perfect, and I’m waiting for theflaw that never shows up. I feel like I’m a few sentences away from giving in, from letting myself believe this is real.
“What about you?” he asks after I awkwardly don’t respond right away.
“As I mentioned, my dad passed. My mom is toxic.” I make a scrunch face and then sip my drink. “I cut her out of my life in my twenties. Gabby hasn’t met her … I feel guilty about it sometimes, but I know it’s for the best.”
Jake squeezes my hand again. If we keep going out on dates, I’ll have to talk about all this shit … my mom, my ex.Agh!I hate talking about these things.
“My younger sister lives in Phoenix,” I add, refocusing. “We see each other a couple of times a year. We’re close but not, like, best friends.”
“So, you’re really doing it alone up here?”
“Yeah.”
“Why move here?”
I shake my head, not wanting to dive into all of that tonight. “Too long of a story.”
“What’s the abbreviated version?”
“I’ve always liked visiting this area. It’s close enough yet far enough away from Chicago, where Gabby’s dad lives. It feels like a fresh start.”
“You think you’ll stick around?”
“Why?”
“Long distance sucks.”
I laugh, but I hold back from shutting down the flirtation.
Jake eyes my empty drink. “Should I get you back?”
I nod, thinking about how I like living in Wisconsin, but I don't know what the future holds for Gabby and me.
12
Claire and I keep stealing quick glances at each other as we walk out of the restaurant. I love July evenings, the residual warmth from the day. I go for her hand, holding it as we stroll down Main Street. This date was amazing, and I’m already looking forward to seeing her tomorrow morning. Something is building between us, something bigger than a casual date.
“Want to drive?” I ask, looking down at her.
“What?” she asks, sounding surprised.
“Let’s see how sloppy your shifts are,” I tease, nudging her lightly.
