Page 20 of Falling for Red
Is he playing dumb or does he really not know?
“These flags with a colored stripe were in reaction to the Black Lives Matter movement and feel racist.”
“Are you asking me if I’m a racist?”
“Basically.”
“I’m not.”
I search his eyes, wanting to believe him. There’s sincerity there, but I’m not sure if it’s enough.
“I give everyone a chance,” he adds, breaking the silence. “I don’t approach anyone with preconceived notions. I let the scene and environment dictate my assumptions.” He pauses, and I keep staring into his eyes, hoping he means every word he’s saying. “I don’t really forgive, though,” he adds. “That’s something I should probably work on. Once someone crosses me, they’re dead to me.”
His words hang in the air, but I’m still unsure. “Well, same here. But ...” I pause, taking a deep breath. “My daughter is of South American descent, so I don’t tolerate racism. It’s a deal-breaker for me.”
“Roger that.”
This symbol still rubs me the wrong way.
“Do you really not know about the negative connotation?”
“I mean … the black flag with the red stripe has been around the entire time I’ve been a firefighter. So, it wasn’t created in response to recent political events. It was already there as a symbol of solidarity and support for firefighters. To me, at the station, with my peers, it’s a sign of bravery and sacrifice … like one of the guy’s wives bought all of us these stickers. I see it as a form of pride, but I’ll happily get more educated on the topic since it seems like you don’t see any of those things when you look at it.”
“I didn’t know it’s been around since before the BLM movement. We’ll both have to do more research on this topic then. But it still gives me the ick.”
Jake pulls me into a tight hug. I let myself relax against him. That conversation could have gone a lot of ways, but the fact that he said he will do more research gets him points.
Stepping back, I watch him bite his lip. “What? Why are you biting your lip?”
“We’re talking about deal-breakers already.”
“I guess we’re talking about deal-breakers.” I laugh softly. “What’s one of yours?”
“Well, no drugs. I have to be clean for my job, and even outside of that, I’m not into it.”
“I don’t do drugs, so no need to worry about that.”
“Cool,” he says, his smile returning. “And ... I don’t want someone who plays games with me. Just be real. No games.”
“Got it. No games.” I pause, then add, “Anything else?”
He shrugs. “That’s about it. What about you?”
I hesitate for a moment, then decide to be honest. “Like I said, racism is a deal-breaker. And I guess ... I don’t tolerate dishonesty. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.”
“You’re going to hate how painfully honest I can be.”
Jake leans in to kiss me, cupping my face, and the kiss feels like a promise for everything we’ve discussed.
I loudly exhale after our kiss ends. “I guess you can play me some country music since we’re driving to the lake in your big ass truck.”
He chuckles, opening the door for me. I step up and see the to-go coffee cup waiting in the cupholder.Jake is a nice guy.Innocent until proven guilty, versus the other way around. He deserves a fair chance.
“Why are you so interested in being with a mess like me?” I ask after taking my first sip.
“I don’t think you’re a mess.”
“Are you lying already?”
