Page 69 of Falling for Red
Alone.The word repeats in my mind, Jake’s face appearing. He stood up for me. He would fight for me in a second, and I still pushed him out the door. I’m not ready.
I don’t want to be a damsel in distress. Jake already puts out enough fires, and I can fight my own battles. Most importantly, I need to focus on Gabby.
48
Monday, July 7th
At the station, my mind is anywhere but present. It keeps replaying what happened yesterday. What could I have done better? What should I have done? What can I do now?
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and a smile grows on my face, hoping it’s Claire calling me back. Seeing the name on my screen, it’s not hers. It’s my brother, Jeremy, and I tap to answer.
“Hey, sorry to call you while you’re at the station,” he says.
“It’s slow. All good.”
“What did I do?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, unsure of his tone.
“Usually you keep me up to date about girls, and Mom called saying you foundthe one.”
I shake my head. “It’s complicated.” I sigh, still unsure what I should do about yesterday.
“How so?”
“She isn’t talking to me at the moment.”
“What didyoudo?”
I loudly exhale, reliving yesterday afternoon. “Her ex is a dick. And she’s scared of letting someone in now.”
Jeremy hums. “If she’s the one. It will work itself out.”
“I wish I knew what to do,” I say, running my hand through my hair. “My gut is telling me that if I do something it’s only going to push her away.”
“Trust your gut. It’s never failed you.”
I shake off a memory from Iran, telling my guys to turn around. I don’t want to think about how our tank was the only one that made it through that day.
“Look how long Tess and I dated long distance before the stars aligned,” he says into the silence. “Be patient.”
Years. I don’t want to wait years, but who knows how Claire feels at this point? I consider his relationship for a moment, then confess, “Patience is hard.”
“You don’t have to tell me. No one believed me when I said I found love at a Vegas pool party. But here we are. Expecting."
“What?!”
“Yeah. That’s really why I called.”
“Congrats!”
Shit.I need to check in with Nicolas and Chris. I’ve been so lost in my thoughts about Claire since she kicked me out of her house.
Two weeks later
Sunday, July 20th
It’s safe to say she ghosted me. My last two calls went straight to voicemail. No texts. Just silence.
