Page 48 of Falling for Red
“How does monogamy play into all of this?” I ask because I don’t know if Tantra is pro or anti monogamy. Intellectually, I’m against it and have tried being open, but I’m still deciding where I stand on the topic.
“Why are you always looking for some kind of gotcha or flaw with me?”
“It’s not that. My ex. He cheated on me a lot. And when we opened our marriage, he always had a girlfriend. I … I don’t know if I want to share.”
“The last girl I dated was bi and poly. It gave me a lot to think about in that way. And I think I want something more traditional.”
“Oh?” I giggle, surprised to hear about his last girlfriend.
“Our relationship was more fun than anything. But she’ll never be my best friend.”
“Fun?”
“The fun you’re assuming.” He smirks.
“Jake,” I whisper, curious.
“But outside of that. The day-to-day monotony wasn’t as easy as it is with you.”
“Monotony?” I laugh.
“Watching TV, aimlessly driving down country roads … I’m loving everyday moments with you.”
I sit with that for a second, fighting back a smile. Real life. The moments in between. “I wouldn’t say my ex and I were best friends.” I snuggle into Jake, feeling comfortable in his arms. “We had a passionate connection but lacked the moments in between.” My mind drifts back to Jake’s last relationship, and my lips twitch with amusement, wanting to know more.
“What?”
“So, you’ve been with multiple girls at the same time?”
He kisses the top of my head. And the silence is telling me everything I assumed.
“What do you think about winter?” he asks, after a growing pause.
“You’re going to talk about the weather now?” I laugh, squirming out of his embrace, needing to see his face. He’s blushing.
“Yes. I don’t kiss and tell, so let’s return to life’s more monotonous matters.”
What a gentleman.
I shouldn’t be smiling this much. “Winter. Like … the season?”
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about traveling more in the winter to make it less terrible.”
I breathe into a small laugh as we shift into this mundane topic. “The winter is fine, but the icy roads and snow days are annoying.”
He squeezes me tight, bringing me back into his chest. I love these bear hugs. “If we went on a winter vacation, would you rather go skiing or somewhere warm?”
Vacation.
When was the last time I went on vacation? Two years ago. My divorce party, or rather the celebration of me getting a divorce, because it took forever to finalize.
“I like skiing,” I share. “I haven’t done that in forever.”
“Late January, when it’s been gray for weeks, we’ll go skiing.”
“That’s cute but?—”
“But?” He squeezes me on the couch. “Why are you defensive?”
