Page 51 of Sharing Shadow Secrets
When was the last time I went to High Five?Before I got clean.
I dropped out of college in 2012.I feel old.I’m thirty-three now, and I haven’t been to High Five in over a decade. Shit. Time flies.
Oh, High Five.A smirk grows, thinking about how I met one of my on-again, off-again fuck buddies there. You never know who you’ll meet in a bar, that’s for sure. Growing up near Lake Geneva, I always found it to be an odd place. The people there in the summer are far different from the people who live there year-round. I guess you could say all their Chicago influence had an impact on me. I mean, I’ve almost lived in Chicago longer than I lived in Wisconsin at this point.
My mom will be happy to hear I’m coming to the area. I should stay with my parents instead of getting a hotel. Tapping my mom’s contact, the phone begins to ring.
“Is Andrew calling for money or to say hi to his mother?” she answers, pointed as ever.
I internally groan, reminded why I don’t see much of my parents. It feels weird when people use my legal name. Themajority of people in my life call me Kyle these days. I like the name Kyle. It’s the persona I’ve built for myself. It’s me.
“I’m calling to say I locked in a live modeling gig in Lake Geneva and am wondering if I can stay with you.”
“One with or without your clothes?”
“With … I don’t do the other stuff anymore.”
“Good.”
It’s silent for a beat until I ask, “Could I stay at your place on Halloween? The gig is at High Five, so I won’t be back until almost midnight at the earliest.”
“What does High Five need a model for?” she asks skeptically. I thought the exact same thing when I saw Taylor’s DM before looking the place up on TikTok.
“I’m going to be a vampire, taking pictures with people.”
“You’re getting paid for this?”
“A grand.”
“Wow,” she says, sounding surprised. “Not a bad day of work,” she adds, and I hear the pride in her tone.
“Right? My social media is helping me get more bookings like this.”
She groans. “I think too many of my friends follow you …”
I stopped being shy a long time ago. Now I live out loud, maybe too much, but it’s helped me attract a following I can pay my bills with. Crossover with people you grew up with and people from your real life is unavoidable.
“So … can I stay with you?” I ask because she hasn’t said yet.
Things have always been tense with my parents. At first, I thought it was because of my drinking. When I came out as pansexual, I thought it was that. Dropping out of college didn’t help my relationship with them, and yeah, this online modeling thing isn’t doing anything to ease the tension either. I’m never going to be like most people. And they just haven’t accepted that. That’s a them problem, not a me problem.
“As long as you make time for me,” she says. “I haven’t seen you in months.”
“Of course. How about I come in early on Halloween and then take you out to lunch?”
“Lunch would be nice. See you then.”
“Love you.”
“Love you.” She hangs up, and I go back to looking at vampire costumes, happy for the excuse to call my mom and visit home.
35
Tuesday, September 9th
Scanning the items Kyle wants to order online, they all look great—like shockingly great minus the fangs. Those look cheesy.
Taylor
