Page 152 of Force Play
To accept why that is, though, would mean I have to admit things feel less physical and a lot more emotional now.
Try as I might to deny it, we’ve clearly progressed beyond this being just sex.
But I don’t think Ari will be able to accept that.
He’s so determined to not let himself turn into his dad that he won’t let himself try a relationship with anyone.
I can live with that.
I hope.
“What about you, Ari?” Cole prods, now turning the question on the man I think I might be starting to fall for.
Ari heaves a sigh, and I ready myself for the pit in my stomach to form when he says he doesn’t.
That’ll just be the confirmation that Saturday was only a fantasy.
“Yeah, maybe,” he says softly, uncomfortably pulling at the label of his beer bottle.
“What?!”Cole shouts, so stunned by Ari’s revelation that he doesn’t notice everyone in the bar turning to look at us. “What do you mean, ‘yeah, maybe?’”
Ari shrugs. “I’m just… trying to keep an open mind. I think it could happen one day.”
To prevent myself from just gaping at him, I quickly stand up, announcing, “I’m going to go grab everyone some water. Game tomorrow, so gotta make sure we all stay hydrated.”
“Want some help?” Ari asks me, and I can see in his eyes that he’s pleading with me to say yes so he can escape the situation he’s found himself in.
“Yeah. Yes. Help would be good.”
We walk over to the bar in silence. I can feel all of our friends’ eyes on us as we do, but neither of us looks back at them.
We find an empty space at the end of the bar and slide in there, waiting for the bartender to come over.
We both stay quiet for a moment, but when it becomes awkward, I make myself say something.
“‘Yeah, maybe,’huh?”
Ari laughs at my attempt to defuse the awkwardness before leaning closer to me and whispering. “I meant everything I said Saturday night, Lucia.”
I turn to face him, losing myself in the depths of his brown eyes. “You did?” I ask breathily.
“Every word.”
“Oh my God.”
The air between us is electric, sparks flying as we can’t take our eyes off each other.
Everything would have been easier if he had said hedidn’tmean it.
Now, I don’t know what to do.
We can pretend, lean into the mutual kink we share. We’ll both be honest in expressing our wants when we do, but nothing can go beyond that.
I may want kids, but I want a partner, too.
That just isn’t Ari.
No matter how much I secretly wish it were.
