Page 190 of Force Play
But I’m so fuckingtiredof pretending.
I take a deep breath and sink to the floor. “It’s an act,” I whisper. “Iamconfident, but I’m notalwaysconfident. I’m not always strong. Honestly, I was fucking broken by what Matt did, but I never wanted you to see that side of me.”
“Why would you hide like that?” Ella asks. “You know we’d never judge you.”
“Because I’m supposed to be the strong one. The one everyone can depend on. No one is supposed to be able to get to me.”
Olive gives me a sympathetic look. “Is that why you’re scared right now?”
“Yes,” I admit. “I fell in love with Ari, and it’s terrifying because I don’t think he’ll be able to accept his feelings for me.” I lower my voice now. “I can’t face that.”
“Somakehim accept his feelings,” Rory asserts. “You don’t want to go on a date with John, so you need to do what you can to get Ari to actually see that.”
“The best way to do that is by talking,” Harlow mumbles.
“Says Mrs. I-Kept-Everything-To-Myself-Until-It-All-Came-Out-Like-Word-Vomit,” I chide. “Look, I know talking is the best thing to do, but he’s not going to be receptive. Everything was great this morning, but the moment I told him about the text from John, he completely shut down. Me talking to him won’t do a damn thing because he has to come to the realization that he wants me on his own.”
“So make him figure it out,” Rory states emphatically. “Show him what he’d be missing out on if you go out with John.”
“How do I do that?”
“Well,” Harlow smirks. “We’re going to have to start by getting you ready.”
“We aren’t meeting up for several more hours, though.”
“Yeah, well, it seems like Ari might need that long to come around,” Liv says. For someone who had her own struggles accepting her feelings for Lane, she sure is intuitive now.
Harlow walks over to raid my closet. “You said Ari’s favorite color is green, right?”
“Right.”
She rifles through my tops until she pulls out a fitted white linen sleeveless top. She then moves over to my dresser, flipping through everything until she finds a tea-length flared green skirt.
“Here,” Lo says, handing the garments over to me. “Start by putting these on.”
I take them from her and walk into my en-suite bathroom to get dressed. The top hugs me perfectly, and the skirt is the perfect shade of green to complement my olive skin.
I walk back into the room, and Ella whistles. “Damn, Luc!”
“I’m not sure how this is going to do anything,” I sigh.
“That alone won’t do it,” Harlow says, walking over to my jewelry tray. She holds up my jade pendant. “You’re going to need this.”
“What is that?” Olive asks.
“The necklace Ari got me when we spent the day in Koreatown.”
“Oh, that’s perfect!” Rory shouts.
I take the necklace and clasp it behind my neck. “So what am I supposed to do then? Just walk by?”
“No,” Lo shakes her head before handing me two heels from two different pairs. One black strappy sandal, one gold strappy sandal. “Go get his opinion on the shoes.”
I look at her incredulously. “You want me to ask him about a pair of shoes?”
“You have to start the conversation somehow.” She juts her hips out with her hands resting on them. “Asking his opinion will mean he has to actually look at you, and he’s going to see you dressed to go out on a date with another man. That will hopefully give him the kick in the ass he needs to stop you from going.”
I take a deep breath before I grab the heels from Lo. “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”
