Page 57 of Force Play
“I am making something of myself. I’m one of the best first basemen in the entire damn league!” I shout, growing more irritated by the second.
“But you’re not the best, are you?” I hear the smugness in his tone.
Leave it to him to make even the achievements I do have feel like they mean nothing.
“I work hard, and that’s enough for me.” I don’t think I’m even convincing myself, though.
“You need to settle down as well. Get married.”
Ah, yes.
The man vying for the title ofBest Husband Everis encouraging me to get married.
I guess he knows what he’s talking about, though.
He’s been married five fucking times.
Divorced five times, too, though.
“Why would I want to get married?” I ask in irritation.
“Because you’ve had your fun, Ari,” he says sternly. “Now it’s time to be a man and find a woman to spend your life with. Besides, you hang out with those guys too much. People are going to start talking and wondering. I don’t want that.”
I take a deep breath and just sink into myself again.
All he’s concerned about right now is how my image—and who I end up with—reflects on him. He’s not concerned that I’mhappy. I don’t think he cares at all that I’m happy as long as I don’t make him look bad.
He wonders why I’ve never opened up to him?
Well, it’s because I can’t.
I can’t be honest with him.
So, I’ll just deal with a lifetime of derision and belittling.
It’s safer that way.
eighteen
Lucia
Arisurprisesmemoreand more every day.
I never told him my coffee order, but he knew it anyway, only because he paid attention to the scent.
I dated Matt for more than a year, and I can’t think of one time he grabbed me a coffee without asking what I wanted because he could never remember.
Ari and I aren’t even friends, and he knows. The man I’ve kept my distance from for two years knows me better than my ex-boyfriend.
Things would be so different between us now if I’d just listened to him back then.
Maybe we’d actually be friends.
I know now that he told me about Matt because he didn’t want to see me hurt. It wasn’t anything more than that, which is what I was afraid of at the time.
It’s clear now that Ari cares deeply for the people around him, and he was willing to include me in that from the beginning.
Now, I’m not sure he’d ever want to be close to me since I’ve been nothing but a bitch to him since we met. Why would he?
