Page 9 of The Cauldronball Run
"Damn right I'm right.We're gonna stake out the Red Ball Garage where this race is supposed to start and catch us some degenerates in the act of degenerating."
"What if they're real fast, Daddy?Mr.Snuggles is worried about the pursuit capabilities of our patrol car."
"Fast?"Grizz grinned, showing teeth that looked like they could chew through a steel bumper."Son, ain't no sumbitch alive can outrun the long arm of the law when that arm belongs to Sheriff Grizzley T.Lawman.I don't care if they got rocket engines and genuine fairy dust sprinkled on their carburetors.They're gonna learn today what proper law enforcement looks like."
Smokie clutched Mr.Snuggles tighter, making the tiny badge jingle."Should I bring extra handcuffs?And maybe some tiny ones for Mr.Snuggles to carry?"
"Bring everything we got, boy.Handcuffs, road spikes, flares, and that riot gun we never get to use.Because when I'm done with this Cauldronball Run, every speed demon in the supernatural world is gonna know exactly who runs law enforcement in Fairweather County."Grizz pulled out a road atlas that looked like it had survived both world wars and started marking routes with a thick red pen that left gouges in the paper."That green sumbitch thinks he's so damn clever, recruiting innocent folks to help with his racing scheme.Well, J.J.Grimjaw is about to get himself an education in proper law enforcement, courtesy of yours truly and the Fairweather County Sheriff's Department."
"Yes sir, Daddy."Smokie paused at the door, Mr.Snuggles held up to his ear."Mr.Snuggles wants to know if we should pack snacks for the stakeout."
"Tell Mr.Snuggles that real lawmen don't need snacks when justice is on the line.We sustain ourselves on righteous anger and the satisfaction of a job well done."
"But Daddy, what if we get hungry?"
Grizz looked at his son, then at the teddy bear, then back at his son."Pack the damn snacks.”
"Yes sir!Mr.Snuggles says thank you."
As Smokie hurried out to prepare for their stakeout, Grizz leaned back in his protesting chair and surveyed his coffee-stained paperwork.This time, he was going to get that orc.This time, Sheriff Grizzley T.Lawman was going to win.
And if a teddy bear in a bottle cap badge had to help him do it, well, stranger things had happened in law enforcement.Not many, but some.
Besides, the bear was his stuffed-in-law.
Chapter Four
Grizz
Grizz crouched behind a parked delivery truck across the street from The Red Ball Garage, binoculars pressed to his eyes.Unfortunately, he'd been holding them backwards for the past ten minutes, wondering why everything looked so damn far away.
"Daddy," Smokie whispered, "I think you got them binoculars turned around wrong."
"I know exactly what I'm doing, boy," Grizz growled, then quietly flipped the binoculars around.Suddenly, The Red Ball Garage at 142 E 31st Street jumped into crystal-clear focus, revealing more suspicious activity than a politician's tax return."I was just testing the magnification."
"Mr.Snuggles says that makes sense," Smokie said, adjusting the teddy bear's tiny knitted hat and winter coat."He's getting cold, Daddy.Should I start the patrol car heater?"
