Page 93 of Love's Most Wanted
“Just get me some more auditions, and I’ll be there.” I conceded but tried to remain as firm as I could with her ass.
“Good.” She sat back down. “Tamira responded. I will send over the updated shooting schedule.”
I simply left her office without another word.
I drove around for a bit, not really wanting to go home to Zosia and my son, who seemed to cry all fucking day and over everything.
I didn’t want the life I had with Zosia. She was never supposed to get pregnant, but I fell for the okey doke, which was her telling me she was on birth control, and I no longer had to use condoms. I did the shit, and next thing I knew, she was pregnant.
I couldn’t ask my wife, one whose help I still needed, to abort our child, so I acted as if I was elated, but I was dreading the day he would come into this world.
My heart was with Kabrina, whether she believed the shit or not. And I knew she didn’t, because when I told her I loved her, she assumed I was kicking the same bullshit most married niggas did, but that was far from the fucking truth.
My endgame had been to keep both ladies separate until I got big enough to leave Zosia quietly. Then, I planned to marry and have a family with Kabrina.
The thought of her being married to Unique right now had a nigga seething every time the thought hit me. Kabrina was mine, but per usual, Unique always had to be in the way of some shit.
Pulling up to my crib, I parked and just stared at the house. Monique was right in the sense that your personal life affected your career, and seeing Unique thrive had woken me the fuck up for real.
If I wanted that type of success, I needed to move differently. It also meant I couldn’t neglect my family and have my wife all over the internet telling muthafuckas about it. Same time, my non-love for her had festered and became hate.
Being with Zosia used to be an easy role to play, but now that all she did was nag, argue, complain, and cause issues, it’d become difficult to act like I could be with her. Especially without Kabrina, who I missed like fucking crazy.
And when Kabrina told me she was pregnant, I thought it was divine intervention, solidifying her in my life forever, but that nigga Unique could never let me be great. Shit, he probably performed the abortion him-fucking-self with his bitch ass.
“Where have you been?” Zosia got right to the bullshit as soon as I stepped over the threshold of the front door. So did my son, Alvin Jr., as he wailed while she rocked him.
“Had a meeting with Monique.” I bypassed her and started to the back, but she was on my heels.
“A meeting that took four days? You’ve been gone since Wednesday night, Alvin!” When I said nothing, she asked, “Have you been with that bitch Kabrina!”
“No!” I whipped around and roared in her face. “I haven’t been with her because you ruined that shit! She don’t want shit to do with me, and now she don’ married Unique’s whack ass!”
Zosia was floored by my reaction, and my son must’ve been too because the little nigga stopped crying to stare at me with the same perplexed expression his mama wore.
He started to whimper after some moments of silence, so Zosia lifted her shirt slightly to start feeding him so he’d quiet down. Thank God.
“Why do you even care? I am your wife! You’re supposed to care about me and your son, not your side chick, especially after she blacked my eye!” She started to cry as I plopped down onto the edge of the bed in the guest room we’d walked into. “This is not how shit works, Alvin.” She sniffled. “Your family is supposed to be more important than a side bitch.”
I let her words seep into my mind as I pondered on Monique’s advice. Continuing on with Zosia was ruining my career because as badly as I wanted to use her, she was making shit too hard. And now, I hated her. It was hard as fuck to pretend you loved a muthafucka you hated. Because of her, I could lose everything. I’d already lost Kabrina, and that was some shit I didn’t think I’d recover from.
“I don’t love you, Zah.” I picked my eyes up from the floor of this plush ass home. I would miss living here, but since Zosia’s inheritance money kept us afloat, paid for this house and Kabrina’s former lifestyle, I knew she’d want my ass out.
I made good money forDough Boyz—about $300,000 an episode—but with bills, Monique taking a percentage, and me not being able to find other avenues of work, the money wasn’t as much as it sounded like. Not to mention, I wasn’t in every episode like Unique and Ramonté were. Out of the twelve to fourteen episodes there were, I was in about eight to ten, depending on the season and storyline.
“Since when?” Her voice trembled as she adjusted a now sleeping Alvin Jr., laying him in the middle of the bed.
“Since the beginning, Zah.” I exhaled, exhausted from being around her and in this damn relationship.
“But… then why did you pursue me? Why did you propose? Marry me? Get me preg?—”
“You told me you was on birth control, so that last one ain’t on me, aight?” I cut my eyes at her before looking back forward. “I… fuck. I loved you until we got married, then shit changed. When I said the beginning, I meant the beginning of the marriage.” I altered my story, remembering how much pull Zosia had, and if she knew I used her, she could have my ass blackballed.
“But why? Things got better for us, Alvin. My father died, but other than that, we got closer, and your career took off.”
“I don’t know. I just stopped feeling it. But look, I think it’s best for Junior that we don’t subject him to unhappy parents. We need to end this shit amicably.”
“No, AJ. We are married. Let’s at least try therapy and?—”
