Page 49 of Anything Necessary for Her
“You my woman?”
“No. I’m not, but I’m a woman, and I know you’d feel more comfortable talking about your feelings with me than Free. Am I right?”
“Eh,” I joked, making her suck her teeth before I continued. “Nah, you right.”
“Thought so.” She grinned and placed her hands on my knees as she peered up at me.
“Thank you, Peep.” I leaned down only slightly to graze her soft cheek with my lips, but as I pulled away, she kissed me on the mouth. As her hand landed on my cheek, I gripped her wrist gently and rose up from the closed toilet top.
“What’s wrong?” She frowned, still on her knees.
“I can’t with the . . . the . . . this.” I gestured between us, making her frown deepen. “I got enough shit going on and can’t add fucking around with you behind Asif’s back to it, Banks.”
Shooting to her feet angrily, she spat, “I am a grown ass woman, and it shouldn’t matter what the fuck Asif or any of my brothers want! This is between us!”
Pacing slightly, I stressed. “It ain’t about doing what the fuck ya brothers want. It’s about loyalty, baby.”
“So are you planning to be more loyal to me or them?” She cocked her head, making her long, thick ponytail swing.
“You know damn fucking well what I mean!” I snapped. “I told you I ain’t never had anybody give a fuck about me and damn near save my fucking life and didn’t want shit in return but loyalty until I met Sif! The only thing he ever asked me for was to keep shit real with him and to make something of my fuckingself and my people! So nah, I’m not about to be sneaking behind his back fucking with you or on you! I gotta be up front and tell him what it is with us, or I gotta keep the shit platonic!” I calmed down, exhaling heavily when I noticed she had replaced her livid expression with a remorseful one. “Peep, I can’t betray the one muthafucka that gave a fuck about me. Put me on. Taught me shit. Got on my ass when I was veering out of the right lane.”
Banks closed the gap between us before saying, “I’m sorry. I want you to know I understand, and I get it. I couldn’t imagine doing anything behind Kailey’s back, and she’s just my best friend and hasn’t done half of what Asif has done for you. But it’s because I love her, and you love my brother.” She pulled me to sit on the chaise within the bathroom which was some bougie shit if I’d ever seen it.
Dropping my head into one of my hands for a moment, I admitted truthfully, “You too good for me anyway, Peep. All I know is the fucking streets, hustling, and everything surrounding that shit. I don’t know a damn fucking thing about relationships, romance, none of that.” I stared down at my calloused hands as she caressed my back gently. “Shit, Sif treats his wife like gold, and she still be on that nigga’s head.” I smirked when Banks chuckled.
“I’m sure he be on the phone telling her ‘you right, baby,’” she added, extending our chortling.
“Yeah. Nigga said when he check her and be right, she start crying, and he feel like shit, so agreeing is easier.” I shook my head with a half smile as Banks giggled.
“Women are always right, sorry.” She shrugged, leaning forward and pressing her elbows into her thighs so she could see me. Turning to her left a bit to keep her eyes on mine, she said, “I’m not too good for you, Willow.”
“You need a nigga like ya siblings. A nigga that’s gon’ do right for real. A muthafucka that don’t need to be taught.”
“How do you know you wouldn’t do right?”
“The one time I had a girlfriend, Peep, when I got done with her, she ran to God. She in the church heavy, and that’s because of me.”
“Then you did her a favor. Most people need to be closer to God. So maybe that’s what I’ll get out of being with you.” She smirked with her pretty ass, making me snicker subtly at her joke.
I pondered for a moment before replying, “I just got a lot going on, and this ain’t the time for you to hitch yaself to me, as badly as I want you to. This game I’m in, every nigga is out for self at the end of the day. The game breeds selfish individuals, and I’m one of them. The old me would’ve fucked with you because I wanted you and wouldn’t care about the consequences or outcome of that shit, but the me right now, I can’t be selfish with you, Peep. I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell ya people about this. Shit, I wouldn’t either if I were you. I’mextremelyafraid of hurting you, baby.” I looked into her eyes, hoping she understood and that this wasn’t just some bullshit.
“I know, and the fact that you’re afraid is a good thing. But I can’t make you try, Low. You have to want this with me badly enough to do so. You have to be afraid of losing me to do right.” She spit some real shit that only eased my worries a small percentage. “The right woman will make you do right on your own. Do you want to be different?”
“I wanna change a lot of shit about myself,” I admitted. “It’s easier said than done though, Peep.” As her hand graced the side of my face, I could only shake my head at how comforting and settling her touch felt. Every time, I got goosebumps all over, and I wasn’t sure if she’d noticed the shit. “End of the day, though, I don’t want you betting on a nigga like me right now. You too pretty, too ambitious, too smart, too every fucking thingto be wasting time on me. I can barely keep my family in one piece, let alone ya heart.”
Rising, she eased herself into my lap, pressing her lips to my forehead, making my lids shut and a moan escaped my lips unintentionally. Her fingers brushed my forearms, skimming the goosebumps that prickled my skin, and upon recognizing that she’d noticed the shit, I opened my eyes.
She was looking right in them before she said, “Don’t put too much on it, Willow. Let the chips fall where they may. If we fall in love, then we do. If we stay friends and nothing more, then we do.”
There was no fucking ‘if’ when it came to falling in love with Banks St. Thomas. It was a matter of when, and when felt a lot like right now.
“Who made this shit again?” I asked, scarfing down some of the chicken dish Free had given me in Tupperware.
Nodding with his brows up as he chomped down on his own, he said, “Ya cross the street neighbor.”
“Nigga, you fucking my neighbor?” I frowned, pausing with my fork full of food midway.
“I am. Pussy is even better than this food.” He put his empty Tupperware down and gulped his can soda.
