“You’ve changed,” she said quietly.
“For sure.” No elaboration, no defensive explanation—just simple acknowledgment.
Deeper lines around his eyes suggested experiences she knew nothing about. The set of his shoulders carried a different kind of confidence—less arrogant, more grounded.
“Paris broke something in me,” Finn continued unexpectedly, his gaze fixed on some middle distance. “What I did to you ... it made me look inside. Trust me, I did not like what I saw.”
The rare vulnerability in his admission caught Zara off guard. She had spent years imagining his betrayal as calculated and remorseless—not as something that had fractured him too.
“So you’ve found the Lord,” she said cautiously, the words feeling strange on her tongue.
Finn’s expression shifted subtly, a complex mixture of surprise at her interest and uncertainty about how to respond. The comfortable silence between them stretched as he visibly considered his answer.
“It wasn’t dramatic,” he said finally. “No blinding light or voice from heaven. Just ... a moment of clarity in the absolute darkest point of my life.” He paused, seeming to search for the right words. “After Paris, after what I’d done to you, I moved away from the dark side. Not working for criminals … not being a criminal … was great, but it wasn’t enough. I decided to go after Cipher myself. I figured maybe if I took him down, I could find some kind of redemption.”
She stared at his broad back. “You went after Cipher solo?”
Finn froze at the sink, water running over his hands. He shut it off, wiped his palms methodically on a dish towel, and turned. “You sure you want that story now?” No challenge in his voice. Just a question.
She set her mug down, ignoring the protest in her shoulders, and settled deeper into the couch. “Absolutely.”
He dropped into the chair across from her, unconsciously reaching for the wooden cross hanging from the leather cord around his neck. His thumb traced its edges—a gesture so automatic it had to be habit.
“It was two years after Paris. I’d managed to escape the Agency hit squads and Cipher’s wet work hires. Ended up in Damascus chasing a lead. I was bleeding out in the basement of some ancient church,” he said, voice rough. “Femoral artery.Slapped a tourniquet on it, but”—he shrugged—“clock was ticking.”
His gaze drifted to the window, seeing something far beyond the glass.
“The extraction team I hired had clearly bailed.” He grunted, smiling grimly. “I knew I shoulda hired the Nigerians, but the Egyptians worked for less. Guess that’s what I get for cheaping out.”
Zara remained silent, reading the data points written in the lines of his face.
He twisted the cross back and forth. “Anyway, I’m staring up at this old crucifix, blood pooling under me, and all I can think about is Paris. You. Funny what blood loss does to your head. Suddenly I’m seeing every suspect organization I’d taken money from, every compromise, every bad decision I justified as ‘necessary’.”
He laughed—a short, humorless sound. “Started talking to the ceiling. Not praying, just ... talking. Told God if I didn’t bleed out on that floor, I’d try to undo the damage I’d done. Not just to you. To everyone.”
His thumb traced the cross again.
“Three hours later, a local man found me. By rights, he should’ve left the suspicious foreign combatant to die. Said later something made him check that particular basement that night.”
He met her eyes directly. “It wasn’t some dramatic light-from-heaven moment like you hear about. Just lying there, thinking about who I’d become. Who I wanted to be instead.”
Silence stretched between them, punctuated by night sounds filtering through the cabin walls.
“I believe you,” Zara said finally, the words coming out stronger than she expected. “Don’t know what that means yet. But I believe you.”
Something shifted in his expression—a loosening around the eyes, a tension released. He nodded once.
“Thanks,” he said simply. “More than I expected.”
Zara straightened, grimacing as her muscles protested. “We need to go deeper on Harrison. Fast. Even if he’s not involved, someone’s clearly dangling him as bait. Either way, he’s the lead we need to follow.”
“Agreed.” Finn leaned forward, instantly switching gears. “I’ve got a couple thoughts on that. Hear me out.”
She nodded for him to go on.
“Singapore’s our play,” he said.
She raised her eyebrows. “That’s out of left field. Explain.”