Page 58 of Her Dreadful Will
Soleil could hardly see through her rage, through the tears springing to her eyes because of the hours of work she’d just destroyed. She hadn’t realized she was so close to shattering; but at that moment she wouldn’t have a qualm about walking away from it all, and leaving the weak-willed humans to their own stupid choices and sad fates.
Not my problem,she told herself.Lost causes, all of them.
“It’s worse when people are suffering and it’s not their fault,” she whispered. “It’s things that have been done to them; or worse, a systemic problem that I can’t fix with a thousand hyacles. Sometimes I just want to smash it all and start over.”
She punched the trunk of the tree beside her. The pain that stabbed through her knuckles was sharp, clarifying. The haze of angry despair cleared a little, and she saw that Carebear had risen, alert, ready to act if she was under threat. Achan stood a few steps away, silent and motionless. Listening.
Soleil sank down beside Carebear and wound her arms around his neck. “I had this dream,” she said quietly. “That I was so much better than the humans. That I could be a benevolent guardian, and fix them all. Make them better. And now I realize that I can’t even handle a small town’s problems. No matter what I do here, even if I kill myself helping the people of this town, there’s a whole world of suffering humans who are dying and rotting in misery as we speak. I would need a goddess’s power to help them all.”
“So you’re giving up?”
She wanted to say yes. But a stubborn sliver of hope was stuck in her heart, and she wasn’t sure that any amount of reason or failure would ever dislodge it. “I don’t know.”
“You want to be a Highwitch. Why?”
“Because it’s the next step.”
“No.” He draped himself across the rock beside her, propped on his elbow. “Not good enough. Why do youreallywant to be a Highwitch?”
Blinking away tears, Soleil let the truth crawl out of her sore heart. “Highwitches have access to more magical knowledge. And I want more influence, more connections. More—”
“More power.”
“Fine.” She dabbed her cheeks with the hem of her shirt. His eyes flicked down to the exposed skin of her stomach and then flashed back up again. “I like power. That’s not a crime. Lots of people enjoy having power and influence.”
“You already have more power and influence than most. And you aren’t satisfied.”
“Are you trying to make me feel guilty about that?” She glared at him.
“Not at all. I’m just trying to show you who you really are. What you want.”
“And you think you know that better than me?”
“Sometimes others can see us more clearly than we see ourselves. You should understand that concept—you’re the one hopping into other people’s heads and messing with their thoughts.”
“Not their thoughts exactly—their will. Their impulses.” She sighed, massaging her temples. She always got a low-level tension headache after crying. “I can’t see their past, either, except as it relates to their current motives. Even then it’s hazy.”
“And those orbs you threw into the waterfall—those are involved, right? Some kind of tether?”
“They’re hyacles.”
“Hyacles.” He smacked his forehead. “Of course. I remember studying those. A more complex kind of tether.”
“Effective for my purposes. Other types of tethers might give you video or audio of the person’s surroundings, with or without the thoughts in their head. My hyacles do all of that, and more. They let me influence the subject’s will from a distance.”
“You can do long-distance mind-flexing with hyacles?” He sounded impressed.
“I can.”
“How would you make mine?”
“Your what?”
“My hyacle. How would you make a hyacle for me?”
Soleil inhaled deeply through her nose, focusing on the crisp freshness of flowing water, the heated mineral aroma of the rock, and the faint spicy, smoky fragrance of the man half-lying beside her.
“I would need a piece of you,” she said. “Hair, skin, fingernails, something like that. Hair is usually easiest to collect. And then I’d need something you treasure. A childhood memento, or a bit of hair from a beloved relative—”
