Page 100 of Her Dreadful Will
“I aim for individual happinessandthe greater good,” Soleil said stubbornly.
“Of course you do, and that’s laudable. But sometimes the two are mutually exclusive. For example, the reunion of the mayor and his wife will probably disappoint his assistant, yeah? Maybe the mayor isherhappiness. But we can’t have a scandal-free mayoranda happy secretary. To achieve a positive result, you have to make hard choices sometimes. You can’t always let people have what they want. Sometimes, to make everything work together for good in the end, there has to be suffering along the way.”
“I get it,” Soleil said. “I just—don’t like it.”
“I know.” His fingers stroked her thigh just above the knee. “Uncertain result aside, what we did was nothing short of amazing. Do you realize what the two of us could accomplish, with our combined power?”
“I know.” Soleil could imagine it—could picture, in one blast of mental montage, how they could pair their gifts and wreak chaotic wonder in countless lives. She didn’t feel drained at all, not even after that long session with the tethers. If anything, she felt exquisitely awake, her senses amplified and attuned to new heights. What if she and Achan could learn to do this right, with perfect control? They could effect real, lasting change—make a positive difference in people’s lives. “We could eliminate conflicts and injustice. I could tweak the wills of the people to conform with what is best. And since humans thrive when they have a little chaos in their lives, you could introduce a hint of it—play it to our advantage, like we did with the mayor and his wife. For the greater good.” She slid her own fingers over his. “It was kind of a beautiful mess, you and me.”
He leaned forward, his lips twitching with want and his eyes burning. “We are perfect for each other, Sol. Don’t deny it.”
Soleil leaned toward him, her palms hovering over his cheeks for a second before she settled them against his skin, cupping his face. “I don’t want to deny it.”
One breath passed between them, and then they moved at the same moment. The kiss was soft and tender, a warm press of lips. Again, a little deeper, and when his hand slid along her neck she shuddered with delight at the touch. His fingers. Stroking her skin. It was a pleasure more devastating than she’d imagined.
In the space between kisses they changed positions, Achan stretching out his legs and Soleil scooting deeper between them. This time when they kissed, his lips parted and she dipped the tip of her tongue into his mouth. He tasted like smoke and honey, sparkling with raw magic.
Achan leaned into the kiss, and a bone-deep sigh issued from his throat, caressing her tongue. His thumbs swept across her cheekbones, and he kissed her with a delicate desperation, a half-restrained hunger that sent rivulets of desire through her body.
“I didn’t expect this,” he whispered. “I didn’t know you would beyou. Will you believe me?”
Soleil didn’t understand what he meant, and she didn’t care. She hushed him with another spine-tingling, nerve-glazing kiss and dipped both hands under the hem of his shirt so she could run her fingers along the smooth planes of his sides. His hands traveled up her back and down again to her waist, restless and craving.
“What do you want?” he said, when she broke away for air. “What do you really want from me?”
Blinking, Soleil refocused on his face. Anxiety made his sharp features even more dramatic. Why was he so torn? Why couldn’t he just let go?
“I want you to teach me more magic.” She traced the bridge of his nose, his cheekbone. Then, bending forward until her mouth brushed his ear, she whispered, “I want to let you in, and you have to do the same for me. Today was a start, but I want more.”
An ecstatic shudder coursed over him; she felt it ripple through her own skin. But he leaned back, looking down, his lashes like spilled ink against his cheeks.
“It’s not that I don’t want to let you in,” he said. “But I’m afraid. I’ve shown you pieces of myself, and you nearly ran away.”
“At first,” she said. “Not today. Not tonight.”
Not tonight, when he told her about his cousin, and broke down, and let her hold him.
His jaw hardened. “If I show you everything, I might lose you.”
“Lose me?” She smiled, trying to lighten the moment. “Like a fish on the line that you’re trying to reel in?”
“No,” he said through gritted teeth. “Lose you, like being torn in half. Like having strips of my own soul flayed off.”
His naked admission turned Soleil’s face hot. She stumbled around mentally, searching for words to respond, but she couldn’t find any to express the turbulent boil of emotions inside her, so instead she said lamely, “You’re always so dramatic.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Is that a problem for you?”
“No.” She hesitated, searching his eyes. “Sometimes I get the feeling that you already know me. Sometimes I feel like I already know you too.”
He looked back at her, his eyes full of yearning, swirled with the darkness of secrets he would not tell her.
“Are you afraid?” he said softly. He plucked the hair tie from the end of her braid and shook out her hair with his fingers.
“I’m afraid of where this goes,” she whispered back.
“So am I.” His voice deepened; and he did let go then, arching his fingers against her back, raking his lips across hers. Soleil ignited, her whole body screaming for more. She clutched his jaw, the bone of it hard and sharp under his skin, and kissed him back just as recklessly. Achan jerked her hips tighter against his, a savage sound breaking from his throat, and Soleil writhed in answer. She thought her burning skin might incinerate her clothing, that the material might fall away in singed flakes, black ash to be whirled away by the wind—
Wait, thewind? Since when was there wind in her workroom?
