Page 60 of The Demons in the Deep: Extended Edition
So they were alone in this shadowed street. The knowledge sent coils of pleasure swirling through Mai’s abdomen, and the intensity of the sensation frightened her.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to shout at Rake to back away and leave her alone, but she knew that would hurt him deeply. She’d done enough damage to him with her “monster” comment. Powerful and ferocious as he was, he was fragile, too. He’d been torn, body and soul, far too many times, and she did not want to be the one to cleave the wounds deeper.
But she could not think of anything to say, either, so she said nothing.
“I did something to distress you,” Rake murmured after a few moments. “I’m sorry. In the Realm Below everything was done in the open. Mating was not something to hide, and we coupled freely in view of all. But I have since learned that humans prefer privacy. They avoid speaking of such things.”
Mai pinched her lips, mulling his words over. “Among animals, mating is simple and necessary, an instinct unconnected to emotion. With humans, the act is more complicated. Intimacy is involved—not with everyone, but with most people.”
“And intimacy makes you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that.” She sighed. “My whole life people have spoken of experiences and reactions I couldn’t understand, because my body simply did not respond that way. I had decided that I was simply different, and most days I was content with that. And then, with you—I reacted.”
“That distresses you, because I am a monster.” His voice remained perfectly even, but she knew there was hurt behind it.
“It distresses me because it’s new,” she replied carefully. “And I think it’s best if we don’t talk about this again. Not to anyone else, and not to each other. We both have the information we need now, so we can simply pretend this never happened.” She looked up at him, searching the shadows of his hood. “Please, Rake. I don’t say this to hurt you, but—I need to pretend this never happened. I need to focus on my work.”
“This never happened,” he said. But the smile he gave her was slow and wicked, and her stomach flipped.
“It wasn’t just you,” she said defensively. “I felt something with Feral, too.”
Rake’s upper lip curled, and a faint hiss issued through his teeth. “He is a rival to Flay and our friends. An enemy.”
“So were you, once.”
He hissed again, and she hurried to say, “And now you’re a friend. One of us.”
“But I am not, though. Am I? Not truly one of my kind, nor one of yours.”
The wretchedness in his tone startled her, and concern for him subdued her own embarrassment.
“I don’t know exactly how you feel,” she said. “But I can understand it a little. I never quite fit in at home, either, and I certainly don’t fit here. I love Kestra and Flay, but they don’t understand how important my work is to me, or what I need to accomplish. They treat me like a child, though I’m twenty years old, nearly Kestra’s age. It isn’t fair.”
Even as she said the last three words, she heard the childish petulance in her own tone, and she grimaced.
Rake stalked silently at her side, his claws twitching beneath the edge of his cloak.
“What is it?” she asked.
“There is something I need to tell you. Something Flay and Kestra wanted me to conceal from you, because they thought it might distract you from helping with the Meridian Games. They did not want to make you too anxious or too eager. I believe they meant well, but as your friend, I must tell you now.”
She tugged at his cloak, pulling him to a stop. “Tell me what?”
“When I was healing in the belly of the Horror, I saw its memories, and those of its counterparts. Through those visions I was able to discern the location of the former mermaid civilization, the great city my ancestors built. It must be in ruins now, like its sister city on land. But I believe there may be records or technology preserved there, which will help you understand the belts and breathing devices. And perhaps I can begin to understand how my people coexisted and cooperated with humans, long ago.”
Mai felt as if an entire new planet had burst into existence within her mind. She was brimming, burning, soaring inside—and yet her outer surface felt frozen, locked into place by the knowledge that Flay and Kestra had kept this from her, intentionally. They did not want her to get too excited, too loud, too distracted.
“Do Kestra and Flay plan to voyage to this underwater city?” she asked, cool and calm.
“I believe they do, after the Games.” Rake pulled off his goggles, letting them hang around his neck. He peered at her, frowning. “You are not reacting as I thought you would. You are too quiet, like the sea before a great storm, like the stillness of a reef before a predator arrives.”
“And how long do Flay and Kestra plan to spend at this city?” Mai persisted. “A short stop, most likely, considering Flay must keep to his usual schedule even more strictly this time?”
“I believe that is the plan, yes. A quick stop.”
Mai’s cold surface cracked, hissing steam. “Am I to be forever tied to them? To their will, their schemes, and their schedules? When can I follow my own path? Chart my own course? When, Rake?”
She spun away and hurried along the street again, chafing and seething. “I cannot wait to tell Kestra what I think of her and hersecrets. And you!” She smacked Rake’s arm as he came up alongside her. “How could you keep this from me?”
