Page 103 of The Cerulean Sister
"Good?"
"They left you here, and the coup continued. This wing was attacked and you fled."
"So they will think Lord Hollis was killed by First Son soldiers?" I guess his train of thought.
"No, you do not know who was killed in the coup, only that you fled. Is there a part in the Estate you can go?"
"The temple."
"No."
They would notice me arriving long after the attack was over.
"I can get to my bedchambers without being seen. They are the same . . . as before."
He takes a long time to answer, then inhales deeply. "Do they keep you imprisoned there?"
"No, I move around almost freely during the day. I am only in my chambers at night."
"Go there. I will find you after I meet with the emperor. The atmosphere in the Estate is about to change, Priestess. Have you found anything on the Temple of Divine Mothers?"
There is a long tense silence that falls between us as he waits for my answer.
"Nothing yet." I shake my head, panicked and ashamed. "But I think I have a way into the Temple of Divine Mothers now."
He sighs, but I have no idea what he is thinking, if he is disappointed, still feeling the rage from the battle or something else.
Already the distance of being untethered is difficult.
I have little to show for my time here, but I planned on getting into the Temple of Divine Mothers to clean their statues. To try and find information on the missing mother, to speak with Leema and search for any indication of corruption.
He stops pressing the buttons on his forearm, sensing my distress. "My fleet is here from the birthlands, but more will come now that First Son has attacked the Estate. There is still time, I promise you, but please let me help you."
"Alright," I whisper, but it comes out shaky.
"No, Ferren, I'm serious. You sent Commander Wesley away when I tried to help before."
"You know I could not give up then."
He looks furious, either from feeling out of control or being reminded that I was in a dungeon for weeks and refused to leave when he sent Commander Wesley.
"But you have not found anything," he confirms.
"I have not even spoken to Leema, 99. I'm close but—" My voice dies in my throat.
He pulls me against his chest and brushes a hand down my hair, soothing me.
I wipe my face with my sleeve. We are better together, stronger, and even though I know I had to come back this way to get into the Estate, from here, I will need help.
"You have done the difficult part. You have not failed. The circumstances have changed." He rubs my grey veil between his fingertips, and I know he understands its meaning. "I will be in your chambers tomorrow night and we will come up with a plan before the rest of the fleet gets here."
"What happens when the rest of the fleet gets here?"
He pauses, rubbing up and down my arms. "We have been in here too long, Ferren. You need to go now."
It scares me that he won't answer my question. I want to ask again, to press him, but the bell restarts and I practically jump into him, the sound eliciting an automatic terror response.
He holds me and checks his forearm for messages from the fleet.
