Page 117 of The Cerulean Sister
"Blessed evening." I smile and scoot into the pew to make room for her.
She replies the same and then ducks her head, whispering a quick prayer before sitting.
"Were you able to visit with Leema?" she asks.
"I was."
"She seemed well when I spoke to her last."
"She is." I rake my teeth across my bottom lip, uneased by the monotone back and forth.
"I imagine she was delighted to see you have ascended," Thea says flatly.
My brow breaks out in a speckled sweat, the grey fabric of my veil suddenly too hot against my scalp. "Yes."
She stares up at the statue of First Mother, completely somber.
This is not the friend I have known all my life. Half of our conversations are normally spent reining in her chatty optimism.
I notice she wears no gold jewelry on her fingers, her veil is not embellished in beadwork, and her lips are not painted in berry stain. She picks at the skin around her nails, red and sore from excessive attention.
Something has happened to her and it scares me. She has not been the same since the coup.
The reality of what should have been obvious to me hits my chest and takes my breath away.
Ben left me in Lord Hollis's chamber and was going to make sure Thea was safe. He has not been assigned to guard me during duties since then.
I realize Ben may never have made it to her.
"Thea, what happened during the coup?" I take her hands tenderly. "Please tell me."
She looks at me with watery eyes, already red from previous emotions. "We boarded up the doors with the children's desks. We could hear what was going on outside."
I breathe a little easier hearing that she was locked away. Thoughts of much worse crossed my mind.
"The guards found Ben when it was over. He was two corridors away." Her voice breaks when she says his name, and she squeezes my hand so hard as she continues, "He had cut down so many. They said it looked like he had stopped a group on the way to . . . on the way to the school."
"Thea . . ."
She sobs only once, then presses the back of her hand against her mouth, forcing herself to stop. "I couldn't see his body before they took him away. The children needed me. They were still so frightened."
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her as close as I can in the pew. She is stiff as she sniffles and holds back more tears, but I hold her until she finally relaxes into my embrace.
"I am so sorry," I whisper.
She wipes her face and straightens her dress. Even though she is suffering, she is still worried about looking unpoised in the temple.
"Thank you. I know he slumbers with First Mother now."
My stomach twists as I watch her stuff down so much. I cannot ask her for those ledgers, not when she is grieving. She has already helped me so much, cared for me even when my actions went against her own morals. My only hope now is to find the ledgers in the forbidden section of the library because I will not put her through more. I will find another way.
Thea stands from the pew and wipes her cheeks, attempting to compose herself. "I think I will pray in my chambers," she announces, knowing her emotions could overtake her again if she stays.
"Are you sure? I can wait outside and let you know if anyone else is near."
"No, no, I am ok. Solitude is best for me now."
"If you think so." I give her a tight smile.
