Page 122 of The Cerulean Sister
"I have never seen anything like that." He shakes his head and huffs. "There is a weapon of Viathan that sends out an energy field, stunning the person for a moment, but nothing like that."
I stare up at him, too angry and drained to be polite.
"Apologies, we can't just sit here in silence in case they notice." He puts his hand on his belt and taps his fingers in sequential order, drumming them three times before he realizes and lowering them quickly, as if someone has told him it was rude before but he can't break the habit.
"No apology needed. I am shaking because of shock, I believe."
He shifts on his feet. "Can I get you anything?"
"No." I cross my arms across my stomach, hugging myself tightly, hoping it will calm the trembling. "The thing I need right now is not available."
I watch 99 lean in closer to the woman and say something that makes her eyes flare and her pull back as if terrified.
If I were tethered to 99, I know I would feel how calm and collected he is, and my body would level out to match his. Andif I could hug him, he would squeeze me just tight enough that I would relax.
"Wait here," Commander Wesley says and walks back toward the others, placing his hand by his gun as he approaches the group.
He gets 99's attention, and I cannot hear what he says but his tone is serious, like he is delivering bad news.
99's helmet snaps to me, and he starts walking over before Commander Wesley has even been dismissed. He weaves through the pews until he reaches my little spot, looming over me in silence.
Inside, I feel him opening his mind to me, preparing himself for my tether to connect us again. He knows something is wrong, that I cannot say most things aloud here. My light was on full display when they entered the temple, but using my gift of mind’s eye is different.
Protecting the stones was a necessity, but connecting myself to a loved one when I do not fully know how strong and complicated Crixa's wards are could put him in harm's way and blow our entire plan.
I shake my head to answer his soft plea for connection.
"My commander said you were not cooperating, High Priestess." He crosses his arms, making the already massive bicep muscles bulge under his armor.
I glance over at Commander Wesley, realizing what he did.
"There is not much to say. I was in prayer when she came in."
"Were you?" He tilts his head, his act breaking a little. I can tell hearing me say that I was praying is startling when he knows it has been so long.
"That's what high priestesses do here." I sigh. "Then I noticed her acting strange, and she attacked me with a weapon of First Son, and I . . . restrained her with my light and called for help."
"She attacked you?"
"Yes."
"Touched you?"
"Yes, she choked me, hit my head. I am fine, 99," I say, softer at the end, noticing he is not asking as a Viathan commander but as the version who is fiercely protective of me.
He nods, trying to stay calm.
"I will heal."
"Good," he whispers.
I look into his visor for a long time, hoping he will reach out and touch me, pleading for him to secretly brush his thumb against my lips. But he doesn't.
I know logically he does not mean to be cold, but my body feels it. It cannot be convinced that it is not being rejected and withheld from affection. Old wounds find patterns that are not truly there and convince me of them anyway. I do not have the reassurance of feeling his emotional affection toward me and it is maddening.
I look over at the group of commanders and feel his hand brushing over my white knuckles as they grip the pew in front of me. I pull back at the sudden gesture toward the wounds Lord Hollis inflicted. My body jerks away on reflex, like a habit playing out even when I know the act was done with care.
His response breaks my heart.
