Page 133 of The Cerulean Sister
"It will only take a moment. I just want to check something." My tone gives away just how anxiously impatient I am to have it in my hands.
Calliape eyes us suspiciously but returns to her work.
"August."
"Fine!" He pushes it to me across the table.
My pulse races as I take the book from him and start flipping through the delicate parchment. Selene tried to conceal this from me, either wanting me to stay focused or in an act of kindness, but both were not her place to decide on my behalf.
"What are you looking for?" August says, leaning back in his chair and flexing his stiff fingers.
"Just cross referencing—" My words cut off on their own when I find the page I am looking for: the correct year and month of my birth and divine ritual.
I could stop now, close the book and give it back. But seeing her name written, a document of the only time we shared together, calls to me.
My fingertips run down the page, closer and closer to the day of my birth.
My heart is racing so fast I miss it, going a day too far and having to scan again.
And then there it is . . . my mother’s name.
Vera Undine - deceased in childbirth.
Female child - divine.
My name is written too, so close to hers, and for the first time I wonder if she had time before the elders began their cruel ritual for her to give me my name or if her murders made that choice.
I grit my teeth so hard I can feel my heartbeat in my gums, hoping it will hold back the sudden flush of emotion. I would tear the page out and keep it for myself if we were not using each suspicious entry as evidence. My mother deserves to have her record known, but I cannot be the one to write it.
I slam it shut and slide it across the table back to August.
"Did you find something?" August asks, a little confused.
I shake my head and duck back into my original ledger. If August notices my mood shift, he does not say anything.
But when I glance at 99 where he leans against the wall, still on guard of the front door, his visor is fixed on me. I can almost feel him scanning me for distress; he knows something is wrong, but he will not interrupt the research to inquire when we are so close to finishing.
If we were tethered, I could send him the thoughts that weigh so heavily on my mind. He would see my mother’s name written in the entry as I did and would experience the bombardment of emotion that came with seeing it there, what it means, and in that way I know he would understand every aspect.
But we are not tethered, so instead he watches me from across the room. The cold technology of his Viathan helmet signaling that I am in distress with no way of him knowing why.
"As you can see, this is an unnatural number of deaths in childbirth for any world, as the specific criteria of women who are dying is . . . they are obviously targeted." Selene lines the three papers in a row across the tabletop.
99 scans the seemingly hundreds of names that took us hours to collect, bracing his fists on the dining table, his helmet slowly moving over each of them.
I just hope it's enough. I will gladly continue into the night if it is not.
"I would like to submit this to the lord general tonight along with your testimony, Selene.” 99 looks up, his visor pointed at me, waiting for me to agree.
"So it's enough proof then?" Calliape asks 99, waiting for him to say we did all we could.
He nods and both her and August beam like they are about to start a celebration.
August pats me on the back. "Knew you could do it." He spins toward Calliape. "Now, we drink!"
She giggles somewhere behind me, but I can't take my eyes off 99 as he crosses the room to get to me.
"I will be back before dawn." His tone is unreadable.
