Page 53 of The Cerulean Sister
"That is my strong recommendation, Priestess Ferren. I would not rely on Viathan to protect your sister." He stares at me for another breath, like he is hoping to convey how intently he means the words, then places his helmet back on roughly.
99 once again looks like he wants to jump across the room and attack him. His fists clench and flex wildly as he watches the door shut behind the lord general.
I run my hand on the tufted fabric of the bench I can't move from, smoothing my fingers over the buttons, trying to understand what it would mean if the emperors decided not to help. If after seeing horrifying memories, they still did not find my cause worthy of intervention.
99 doesn't move an inch except for his heavy breaths, like he is still trying to contain himself. "I will retrieve your sister," he finally blurts out.
"Even if the lord general says you can go, how would you even get close enough to that temple?" August asks flatly.
"By force."
"That would cause a lot of problems, my friend, and you know it. You're not thinking straight."
99 growls at him, stepping into his space.
"My sister would never leave that temple with you. Even if you said I sent you."
August tilts his head, finally exasperated at 99's anger. "Abduct an exiled priestess's pregnant sister, that's the plan?"
"Yes, if she won't come willingly."
"There is no scenario in the three worlds where you could get close to that temple without notice." I look down at my hands, considering what the lord general said: that I am not bound by Viathan law. "You. . . couldn't get close."
"Ferren, we are waiting to be summoned to council again, that is all!" 99's tone cuts through me like a warning to stop my line of thinking. It's so harsh, my brow furrows in a glare.
I turn away from him, feeling lost on what to say or do, completely helpless to the decisions of others. But I have been presented with a way to take that control back, to ensure what I am begging for help against does not happen to my sister.
"You arenotgoing back." His voice is a snarl.
It's the second time his tone has been harsh toward me, and it's enough to make me stand and push back at how utterly immovable he is.
"The Estate is the last place in the three worlds I want to be. You have to know that! But I will not be able to live with myself if I do not try to help my sister anyway I can!" I realize what I have said in that second.
He knows what it is like to live with something so heart crushing, to feel like you could have helped. His tense shoulders lower a fraction, my words sinking in. The situation is similar to the one of his past, but now he is playing a different role.
The mattress creaks as 99 sits on it. I watch from the corner of my eye as he removes his helmet then braces his elbows on his knees.
"I will go." Calliape's voice is so small, it takes me a moment to realize she has spoken. "I will go if Viathan will not help. I will get into that temple. I will say I am pregnant and there to pilgrimage," Calliape says louder as she walks toward me with a hopeful look, her plan forming as she speaks.
August watches her with a heartbroken face, but she doesn't take her eyes off me, waiting for me to tell her she can help.
"Calliape, no. There would be too many questions from the Estate, and they would uncover your divinity. There are elders there who can sense First Mother's gifts. And if they found outyour mother was from Cosima, I don't know how they would react. I am sorry, but I can't let you risk yourself for me."
She nods her head, a little crestfallen but understanding.
"Then we should just wait to be called by the council to see what they have to say, and if they can't be reasoned with this time, we submit another petition, show more of them the memories and then another until they take us seriously. How could they not?" Calliape’s face looks like she would show every Viathan on this world those memories if she had to, would relive it a million times if it would help.
"How long would that take? Until Leema's waters break, until she’s lying on that table?" I meet her eyes, hoping she knows that even if my words are blunt, it's because I am afraid and barely holding myself together. "The message didn't even say how far along she was, but I have a sinking feeling that I have to hurry."
"Could you get a message to Leema then, through the beacon?"
"No, I don't think so."
"The priestess that sent it to you, could you reach out to her?" She wrings her hands.
I shake my head at her frantic attempt to add more solutions other than the one we are being corralled to. "No, there would be no way of speaking to High Priestess Thea. She broke many rules to get that message to me."
Every alternative and question makes it clearer to me what needs to be done if the council denies us. Sweat drips down my brow even though a chill keeps running through me. I have lived in fear that the temple will come to take me back and punish me, that they will strip me of my life and family here. But that fear seems so distant after seeing the danger Leema is in, when going back could save her life.
