Page 105 of The Cerulean Sister
"I am to escort you to the grand hall."
"The grand hall? Where is Guardsmen Ben?"
"I was given no other orders, High Priestess."
Ben must still be with Thea on the other side of the Estate. I recognize this guard; he was one of the ones who originally accompanied me with Ben.
"Ok . . . I will be just a moment." I shut the door and quickly pin my veil in my hair and examine myself in the mirror for any signs that I have not been safely tucked in my room during the entire coup.
In the hall, elder and high priestesses walk in the same direction as us. They whisper and speculate on the reason for the chosen location and who they were with when the coup started. I strain to listen to them, wondering how much they know. The closer we get, the more temple members file toward that direction as if they are being summoned for ritual.
Giant, fiery torches are lit in the entrance, matching ones on either side of the dais, lighting the room and casting orange light on Emperor Matthias and Crixa. They sit perfectly still as we pack in, watching us take our places lining the walls, stepping up on the platforms for the priestess order.
Every Estate member is also present, it seems. Everyone but Lord Hollis.
The spot he normally occupies next to the emperor screams to be noticed. His absence is obvious to some as they look around to figure out who else is missing.
Crixa's heavily shadowed eyes lock with mine, and I bow my head, hoping she will not fixate on me or where I was during the coup. In her mind, the worst punishment is to ignore me, to pretend like we never had a special bond, to treat me like everyone else.
Her snakelike tether pokes and prods to see if I will react. She calls out not to say hello but to bait me, to test if my gifts have returned full force. I can see right through her now, her malicious intent.
I purposely rub my forehead as if I can feel something but it's affecting me as if I cannot feel her tether at all, like her probing is causing a headache and not revealing her constant game of distrust. I clear my throat and ignore it until the tentacle retreats, and when I side glance at her, she has moved on.
I could have let her in, showed her how slowly my gifts trickle back. She knows they will return now that Lord Hollis is dead, but pacing her expectation of how long it will take and letting her believe that some are still unrefined and not under my control seems wise.
The Temple of Divine Mothers files into the back of the grand hall, the dark corner almost eating up their pure white gowns. I can faintly see Leema, her face cast in shadow, but I notice her chin lift slightly as she looks down the line of grey dresses until her face points in my direction.
I can't see her eyes, but I know for a moment she is looking at me, finding me in the crowd, then relaxing slightly, finally allowing herself to pay attention in the direction of the emperor. I knew she was not harmed in the attack, as 99 made sure that was one of the first things he spoke of.
However, it is clear she did not know if I was and it should not make my eyes misty that she cares if I am alive or dead, but it does. It's a tiny reminder that we are connected, that maybe there is hope for us.
I search the rows of lesser priestesses across the room from me, trying to see if there are any gaps in their numbers, but their faces look distorted in the candlelight, their veils making their eyes look hollow.
Somewhere on this side of the platform, there is an empty spot for the high priestess who fought in the corridors with Ben, the one I could not help. My priestess sisters do not deserve to die, as flawed as this place can be. They do not know of the horrors that happen here, only that they have vowed to protect the stones.
Thea enters behind a few elders who also serve in the school. She does not take her eyes off the elders’ backs as she steps on the platform, looking ghostly and dazed. I wonder how bad the coup was in that part of the Estate. Thea's matriarchal line is powerful. She once told me she could trace it back to the war with First Son, her ancestors wielding such great strength, they could level battlefields, but I have never seen her use her gifts.
The temple was happy to grant her request to be posted in the School of Divine Children, protecting the future of our order. The toll such violence has taken on someone so soft as Thea is written on her face.
"We have lost priestess sisters this day. We have lost guardian brothers," Crixa speaks to the hushed room. "The history of this day will be written as a great devastation to our order. We have not lost such numbers since . . . the war with First Son. But now is not a time to grieve. Yes, your priestess sisters will be laid to rest, their rituals performed. But this is a time for vigilance, for strength, to rise up to protect your temple. There are wolves amongst us."
My heart lurches in my chest as I listen to her words, the suspicion in her voice. I take a deep breath and remind myself she is speaking about First Son.
"Some of you may have witnessed Viathans within our walls. Their government has sent aid, a . . . fleet," Crixa says with a sigh.
An elder interrupts and then another, objecting to the Viathans’ presence here.
The emperor stands and signals with his hands for them to remain calm and silent, raising his palms and pushing down. "There is little to be done. There are laws within the three worlds written by the priestesses and leaders of old. The stones are here, behind our walls, but the Viathans are within their rights to also protect them during the conjunction year. We have fought alongside the Viathans before and we will again."
He speaks so loudly, as if to smother what Crixa might say.
She glares at him.
This is a calmer version of her, one that has had her explosion in private and then collected herself enough to speak without seeming weak. I know she hates this, the laws that allow 99 and the fleet to be here. She is the most powerful priestess in the temple, but the emperor rules over Cosima, not her.
He is devoted to the temple, mixing Cosima’s Estate and temple affairs together like they are one, but he is much more reasonable when it comes to dealing with the other worlds than Crixa.
"There will be time to discuss such things in the temple. Of how we will defend ourselves with Mother’s gifts at the forefront," she cuts in.
