Page 116 of The Cerulean Sister
"She is afraid you made her look weak." Selene smiles and sits back in her chair. "Bring me those ledgers, Ferren, and I will testify against that temple."
"Thank you."
Selene and I will never be friends, but her hatred for this place is enough to consider her an ally.
"We’ll submit both at once. It’ll give us the best chance to halt the activity in that temple while it is investigated," 99 says.
Once the fleet gets here, all his and the lord general’s focus will be on managing the commanders and making sure they are ready for another attack they believe to be coming.
The entire Estate is preparing to defend itself during the final days of the conjunction, when First Son is most likely to attack, when the world is covered in complete darkness and he can move around like shadows.
I have to get those ledgers and I have to find Thea tomorrow during my duties. The almost crushing limitations of how and when we can do this are exhausting, and I am not the only one who thinks so. I can see it in Calliape's and August’s eyes too. They are here for me, all of them are, so I cannot pull back now. I can feel the ending of this in reach and I want nothing more than to have my sister safe and my family back on Viathan as we were before.
I push my food around my plate and only eat things I know will keep the hunger away for longer, not knowing if I will be able to get my appetite back for a while. My growling stomach is replaced with the fluttering of nerves and anxiety of fleeting time.
August and 99 are the only ones who do not sit for dinner. Instead, they speak of the ship and its maintenance and whether we will use it or a fleet ship when we finally depart.
I watch their conversation from the table, August sipping from his flask, and they glance back at me every few minutes as if to check if I am still there.
"Ferren." Selene's voice is right next to me as she places a few baked goods on the table. "Thad brought some dessert too. His wife is a baker. Would you like some?" She holds out a serving knife, her Estate manners showing through.
"I asked if he could send a few sweet things when we heard you would be with us." Calliape smiles.
"That is really . . . nice. Thank you." I stare at the plate of jam-filled tarts, not wanting to even imagine the powdery sugar against my teeth but place one on my plate anyway.
Calliape does not know what has happened to me, how the thought of sweet food turns my stomach now. She is being kind, making me feel welcome with the smallest of comforts that she knows would have meant so much to me before.
Selene moves behind me, gathering something up in her hands and setting down a covered basket on the table. The cloth around the bundle allows just a small peek of the contents inside, and by the clear granules around the opening, I know it’s sugar bread.
I want to cry because I know my friends requested it specifically, but the sight of it fills my mouth with the taste of ash, the feeling of dread spreading out across my body and making its way to my throat and choking me.
It should be nothing and it is so foolish . . . but I can't.
99's hand comes down between me and the sugar bread. He lifts it out of the way and wordlessly moves back to the kitchen so calmly that no one thinks anything of it.
I turn in my chair and watch him walk back to August, whispering something, and then August reaches down to open a cabinet and pull out a bin.
99 dumps the entire bundle, basket and all, into the vessel made for disposal.
The act is so fast, so deliberate, that it takes me a moment to realize what he has done.
He protects me in all ways, tethered or not, and not just with brute strength but the tiniest of things that can affect the mind and heart. And to him, it is not foolish at all.
Chapter
Thirty-One
Isit in the high priestess section of the temple for so long, the incense burns down to ash. No service was held today while the elder priestesses prepare the bodies of the temple members who died in the coup.
The temple is warm and empty, my guards waiting just outside the doors. They think they are doing a noble service escorting me upon my request after my duties are done for the day. Ones I carried out with newfound determination to complete our mission.
Thea comes this time of day to pray after the School of Divine Children has dismissed. If I can catch her here, it will be my best chance to convince her to retrieve the ledgers for us.
Calliape is coming back for me tonight, to meet at the safe house. They will all be waiting for an update, if I was able to convince Thea to let me borrow the school ledgers.
I want this to be over, to ensure that no other women are hurt in that temple, but more than anything I want to be with my family again. It was too painful leaving them last night, but I could not stay there with 99 like I desperately wanted, as my guards are always firmly planted outside my chamber doors.
"Ferren?" Thea's voice snaps my attention to the aisle where she stands. Her tone is so strange, and she looks exhausted, the same placid, dull expression on her face as was there in the grand hall after the coup.
