Page 136 of The Cerulean Sister
"It also means if First Son attacks during the conjunction, I will be expected to fight."
99 nods again, pushing off the wall to close the space. "You would have fought either way."
"Maybe it is safer for Leema to be locked up in the temple during it." I take a big sigh.
"Leema only has to wait a few more days and she will be safe."
"There are other women there that look farther along than she is."
"Even while we wait, protocols are being set in motion. I promise you that." He runs my veil between his gloved fingertips.
I sigh, trying to calm myself. "Thank you, I know how much you have done."
"I simply delivered the evidence, Priestess."
I huff out a laugh because we both know that's not true. But he doesn't laugh, just stands perfectly still. I watch the rise and fall of his chest, wondering what he is thinking, why he is so silent. I never noticed just how quiet it can be between us, how much our tether fills in those gaps when neither of us knows what to say or how to express ourselves.
My stomach flips with nervousness I have not felt with him since we were strangers on our way to Frith, when his visor would roam over my body and I would wonder if the vehement disdain I saw there was from hate or something else.
I have not been so perplexed by the meaning of his touch or lack of since climbing the mountain, when we shared our warmth, the language of our bodies speaking more than we did.
I force myself to look into the visor of his helmet, to not look away no matter how it makes me feel. "Does it not affect you then?"
"It is unbearable not having you tethered to me," he confesses, knowing exactly what I am asking.
We have become so dependent on one another to make up for each other's flaws, and now that we cannot connect and fill in those gaps, there is a real threat it will make us fall apart.
He lifts my chin upward. "Will you stay with me in the safe house tonight?"
"Yes," I whisper. I want to stay, but it hurts just thinking of it being like this when we are utterly alone together.
"Ferren, what are you thinking? I . . . need you to tell me."
I take his hand and press it into the unseen hole in my chest. "I am so afraid that if you don’t fill every space in my mind, something else will crawl back in and sink its claws into me."
"No, that will not happen, Ferren." He shakes his head and spreads his warm, heavy palm across my chest, brushing over my collarbones so tenderly.
"When we are tethered again, I want your mind to consume every inch of mine and I will do the same to yours. I will drive out anything you do not want there." His body presses against me, pinning me against the stone wall, just the thought of being connected again drawing him forward.
"I am soemptywithout you, 99," I whisper when his helmet falls to my neck, rubbing against my skin.
He groans low in his throat. "I have not kissed your lips since we left Viathan."
"Would you like to kiss me now?" I reach up to his helmet and run my finger across the seam.
The sound of echoing footsteps halts his next words, cut off by a Viathan guard stepping into the spiral staircase with us.
The commanders helmet snaps downward like he is afraid of the repercussions of seeing us in this state. "Apologies, 99th Commander, but the lord general has requested an audience."
99 sighs heavily and juts his helmet to the side, a subtle command for the guard to leave, then he glances at his wrist like he missed a message while we were here together.
I smile up at him, knowing it could be about the order to investigate. "It's alright."
He pushes into me closer than before and runs his thumb over my bottom lip slowly, like he is watching the act. "Wait for me in the safe house, and tonight I will fuck you until you do not feel empty any longer."
Chapter
Thirty-Six
